What did I do to deserve you?//L.R.H.

CHAPTER 51

-Lea's  POV-

I just want to yell at Luke for ignoring me, but then I remember what I did. I didn't take the pills, I just threw them in the toilet and forgot to flash them, but he can't have known that, especially because he isn't letting me explain. Everything is so déjà vu. It's like that tour mix up thing and we ended up almost seperating. What saved us was my last minute's love words to the airport. Only that this time I've got a feeling that love words won't save the situation.

He just needs to listen to me, I can explain, tell him that yes I thought about it but I didn't do it and that I'm not really going to go back to my old habits. I want to tell him that I'm so done with everything included in my past and start a future with him. If only he sat and listened.

"Lea, all good in there?" Ashton  shakes his hand in front of my face.

"What? Oh, yeah, I was just daydreaming, sorry." I stand from the kitchen counter and head to the microwave to get my pop corn and head back to my room to finish my Harry Potter marathon but Ashton grabs my wrist and doesn't let go despite me begging him to.

"What happened between you and Luke?" he asks with the warm smile he always has plastered on his face.

"He hasn't told you?" I ask in disbelief. But of course he hasn't told them. He doesn't care enough to tell them.

Or he just cares too much and he doesn't want to admit that he failed although it is your fault, I have to remind myself, which is rather unpleasant. But then again, nothing is pleasant in this situation, this mess I made.

"No, he hasn't. He just sits on the couch in misery, talking to himself." he says with a small laugh. "Something between the lines of 'I failed' and 'it isn't my fault' all over again."

Just what I was thinking.

"It isn't his fault." I gulp and blink a couple of times to prevent myself from crying.

"What happened?" he asks.

"I," he stares at me. I can't decide if I should tell him or not.

"Why hasn't he told you? Luke." I need to know before I tell them anything. I don't want to say something bad and ruin this even more.

"He said that it was your secret to tell, but no one wants to ask you." he says. "They are afraid that they will hurt you by asking. So they sent me, in some way." he smiles.

I still don't say a word. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I don't know how.

"Look," he takes my hands in his and stares in my eyes. "You don't have to tell me anything, I just want to help you because I know how much you love him and how much he loves you, and judging by your first day here, you opened up to me, so I thought that you could again. But you're not obliged to."

"You just came here yesterday and you already act like my psychologist." I laugh and he smiles.

"It's what I do best?" he shrugs and a small giggle escapes him lips.

"I was sitting upstairs and I was going through my bags when I found that bottle of pills Jason gave me. I thought about taking one but I changed my mind because of Luke so I threw them in the toilet but I forgot to flash them down and he found them. You know the rest." I say real fast without breathing but he somehow understands every word.

"Have you told him that?" Ashton says.

"I can't. He's beem avoiding me all week. I enter a room and he leaves. Sometimes I wonder why he hasn't left the house yet but I think he's just trying to avoid his mother's questions about me." the pain I feel is evident in my voice and when I blink this time, a tear escapes my eye and runs down my cheek. " You know, since she likes me."

"I think you should give it a shot. Talk to him again." he proposes.

"I have. Tried. He doesn't want to talk." I shake my head as more tears escape.

"What if I spoke to him?" he asks.

"You would do that for me?" I look at him, practically begging for him to do something to make the situation better.

"Of course I would Lea. You're like my sister."

"And he's like your brother." I point out.

"True, but if I don't help my sister, who will?"

He walks away, but I stop him by saying the first thing that pops in my mind.

"Your hair have got longer."

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you're trying to delay me." he turns around with a smile.

"But you know better, right?"

"I do, indeed."

—

-Luke's POV- 

"Hey mate!" Ashton walks in the living room hapilly.

"Hi." I coldly reply.

"Can we talk?" he sits next to me on the couch and turns off the TV.

"Aren't we already?"

"I spoke to Lea." he says.

Of course he did.

"Of course you did." I don't bother looking at him.

"What are you doing man?" he asks. "You're ruining your life."

"Do you even know what she did?" I raise my voice. "You're too quick to take her side."

"Why, do you?" his tone matches mine. "You haven't let her explain a thing!"

I turn to look at him this time.

"Of course I did listen!" I'm yelling by now. "And I'm sure that she was high when she kissed Jason but it doesn't help. And then, she throws the pills she should have thrown away a long time ago."

"She kissed Jason?" he asks.

Of course she didn't tell him that.

"And it's not even over. She thought about taking the pills, or else they still would be in her bag, am I right?"

"Yes, you are, but she didn't take them because she  thought of you!" he screams.

"She thought of me, my ass. If she wanted to think of me, she would have done that long ago in LA when she made all those decisions." I'm not yelling anymore, but my voice is hard.

"She's sorry man." he makes one last try.

"Of course she is but I don't know if I can do this anymore." I try not to cry. "She was right mate."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"When she said that she was a lot to handle."

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Oh god, this story is longer than I thought. I hope you like it so far.

Do you think that Luke is too hard though? I don't know, just asking.

Love you lots guys!

xoxox