What did I do to deserve you?//L.R.H.

CHAPTER 37

-Lea's POV-

First day without Luke and I'm already falling apart. I don't know what I am going to do without him these three months. The only thing I can think of is him, his eyes, his smile, his everything. He is my everything.

I visited my mum as soon as I got here but the doctors said she was already gone. I know I'm suppose to hate her but I can't really. She was the one to bring me up and, although I hate to admit it, she turned me into what I am today. Maybe she wasn't the best mother but she was my mother.

Every time I think my life will be okay, something like this happens and it all falls apart.

I'm tired of thinking about my terrible life and focus on the view I have from my balcony. The skyscrapers trying to reach the sky, the people walking down the busy streets, yelling at their phones for every reason possible.

"I bet that she is a mother." Ray says. I look next to me and he smiles at me. Wow, I was too busy thinking that I didn't even notice my brother.

"This one."he guides my eyes with his finger and they fall on a woman sitting at a bench trying to keep calm while talking on the phone. "I bet her teenage daughter called her to take her shopping but she has work to do."

I laugh. This is the game we used to play all day long when we were little. I remember mum and dad asking us what we were doing all day at the balcony and we just smiled.

"See the couple right there?" I point my finger at two seniors, probably, hugging. "She's leaving for university when the holidays end."

The holidays. I didn't even realise that it was Christmas. But how am I supposed to when all the shit decide to happen now.

"Lea?" Ross walks in the balcony with my phone in hand. "It's Luke."

I grab my cell and waste no time opening it.

"Hey you." he says.

"Hello." I reply. "What's up?"

"Much less the same." he pauses. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"You lied." he suddenly says.

"How did I lie?" I hope I didn't say some shit that made things bad.

"You said that these three months will be over before we know it." the pain is evident in his voice. "It's only the first day and it feels like a century."

"A millennium." I whisper.

"Yes. A millennium."

We stop talking. We just try to feel each other's presence through the phone.

"Hey, baby. I have to go. Recording." he sighs.

"Oh, yeah, um, sure, I, I get it." I pause to every word trying to think of the next.

"Bye."

"Bye, I love you."

"I love you too" I hang up.

It shouldn't be like this. So hard. It should be easy with us, right?

~~

-Luke's POV-

"Mate, nothing is going to happen." Calum says.

"You don't know that." I insist. "She could forget about me."

"Honestly man, I doubt." he answers. "She digs you too much to let you go."

"What if..." I'm hesitant when it comes to naming my fears.

What if she finds someone else there and forgets about me? What if she doesn't want me when I get back with her? What if things become complicated and she leaves me?

"Dude, stop torturing yourself thinking what if and start thinking what if not." Calum says. "What if she doesn't find someone else there and she forgets about you. What if she wants you when you get back with her? What if things aren't complicated?"

"I don't know." I sigh. "Three months is a long time."

"Yes it is. But you can't do anything about that. Just call her." he throws me my phone and it hits me on the chest.

"Ouch?" I exclaim.

"Shut up and call her." he shakes his head and leaves me alone tin my bed.

"You're such a baby." he closes the door behind him.

I dial the number and wait.

"Hey you." I say as soon as she picks up.

"Hello." she replies.

Why is it so hard?

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I don't know, what do you think? I think that my writing is actually getting better yay!

So, you have probably seen the other books I'm preparing. New Girl is going to begin as soon as I finish with this one and hopefully, I'll update more often there.

That's all! Love you!!

xoxox