What did I do to deserve you?//L.R.H.

CHAPTER 41

-Lea's POV-

"So, how have you been?"

"Good."

"Really? Cause you don't sound like it."

"Yes, Luke, really." I roll my eyes. "I just have a headache and I feel like throwing up and I can't eat anything."

"Living a wild life, huh?" he snickers and I huff.

"Please, I lead the party life of a college student. Can't leave without my parties." I joke.

"Parties or me?" he asks.

"That's a difficult questions parties." I know he's pouting even though I can't see him. "But now, let's talk about you. Anything fascinating I should know about?"

"Michael finished Chicken Invaders, all three courses - even though he said it was stupid when he first saw you playing it, the guys forced me to go out last night and I got wasted and we have a new stylist."

"Are you serious? Who is she?" there's no point in being jealous is there? No, I don't have to. He's my boyfriend not hers. But that doesn't mean that nothing is going to happen. Oh, come on Lea, Luke's love for you is bigger than his love for pizza, of course nothing is going to happen.

"...and I thought we had sex or something, but it turned out that I had thrown up on myself." he laughs.

Oh my god, I can't believe that I was too busy thinking about Luke and her together that I didn't hear my boyfriend telling me about his day.

So I did the thing anyone would do. Iaugh with him and ask him more about this girl.

"Hanna is hilarious. She's from Russia and she's a really good girl. Ashton and her have been going along just fine, but maybe that's because they are so alike. They complete each other's sentences. Can you believe that? And oh, I forgot to tell you..."

Back to my own thoughts. This whole thing is so weird. We're so close but so far away. I do feel his presence through the phone, but that's not enough to feel the gap in my heart created by his absence. I miss him.

"I miss you." I interrupt him.

He stays silent for a couple of seconds.

"This is killing me too." he says. "I can't be away from you for more than five minutes, how about a month."

"We waited for two, I think that one more won't hurt any more." I sigh.

"Look baby, I'm sorry but I really have to go. The boys." It's like I see him in front of me rolling his eyes and running his hand through his messy hair.

"Yeah, it's okay. I love you." I smile.

"Bye." he hungs up.

What? Just a bye? Not a simple "me too"? He always said it first and now he's not even saying it back? 

I basically throw my phone to the night stand and lie back on the bed. I try really hard to find an explanation and I've come up with many. He didn't hear it, he was busy dealing with the boys while talking to me, surfing on his laptop, watching TV. But all of these ate lies. I know the real reason why. He doesn't feel the same anymore.

I walk out of my room with tears threatening to fall. Ray is sitting on the couch watching Spiderman.

"I'm sorry for acting like that. I shouldn't." he says, not bothering to look at me.

"You were right. I shouldn't have taken the pill and I shouldn't have trusted him. Not after what he'd done to me." I apologise.

"Are you okay?" he looks at me this time. He must've noticed my voice breaking.

"Is there a chance Luke doesn't love me anymore?" I ask and he hugs me tightly.

"I don't know Lea." he sighs and I bury my face in his chest.

"When is Ross leaving?" I ask.

"Tomorrow."

--

-Luke's POV-

The boys were more than happy to hire Hanna as our new stylist. Lou had no problem either. She said it would be nice to have another girl to hang out.

I ended the call with Lea five minutes ago and god, I miss her so fucking much. I miss her hugs and kisses, I miss her scent and the way she hides her face in my chest every time we cuddle. I miss her babbling about  and her telling jokes that are not even funny but I laugh so she thinks I actually liked it.

Another month till I can hug her again. Just one more month.

"Hey Romeo, are you done?" Michael yells at me.

"Shut up you insensitive asshole! Have you even called your girlfriend? Cause I haven't seen you calling her lately!" I call out.

"Hell yeah!" he says back at the same tone. "We are talking every single night, not yo mention that we have had sex through the phone."

I cringe at the thought of Michael and Emily doing... That. I mean,  yeah, I've gotten myself of too, but I don't advertise it.

"How is she?" he asks.

"She sounded a little distant and she said I love you, but she wasn't feeling it so I didn't say it back."

"That was shitty of you." Michael sits next to me on the couch. "But if she didn't feel it..."

"What if when we meet again we're not the same? What if she has changed? Like-"

"A lot can happen in three months." Michael finished my thought, the one I was a o afraid to give words to. "I guess. But you two are better than that. You're gonna get through this, I know it."

"Thanks Mike." I say and he pats me in the back.

He gives me a reassuring smile and walks to the door.

"Clifford?" I call out and he turns back to look at me. "Why is your hair red?"

He laughs and walks away.

"Wait and see Calum." he says from the hallway of the arena.

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I'm terrible, I know, but it is larger than usual. School sucks guys and I kinda care about it. Also, I have a Tumblr account and I work on that too.

xoxox