Tears of Insecurity

Chapter Eighty Five

Previously -

Purab came and sat down beside her (he must be 17-18 at the moment). Agniwardhan too sighed and went on his knees in front of his favourite student. He understood what pain Dharampal might have been going through due to the death of his infant son, but what he was doing with his daughter was even worse.

"Susheela beta, tumhare papa tumse bohot pyar karte hai. Unki baato ko apne dil pe mat lo.", The old coach said wiping away Susheela's tears that has traitorously betrayed her and had fallen down her cheeks.

"Kya yahi pyar hota hai coach?", Little innocent Susheela asked looking up at him through her wet lashes.
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"Nahi. Ye pyar nahi hota Susheela. Pyar bohot hi masum hota hai. Wo tumhe kabhi bhi dard nahi de sakta. Tumhare papa tumse pyar nahi karte, lekin iska matlab ye nahi hai ki tumse koi bhi pyar nahi karta. Apne aaju baaju dekho Susheela, sab tumse pyar karte hai. Sab tumhe bohot pasand karte hai.", Purab said defying his head coach as he wiped the little girl's face with a handkerchief.

"Ye tum kya keh rahe ho Purab-", Agniwardhan started but Purab cut his coach in the middle.

"Sir, hum Susheela ko faltu ki hope aur dilasa kyu de rahe hai? Roz iske papa isse humare samne kitna kuch suna ke chale jaate hai! Ye pyar nahi hai! Susheela ke dimag mein pyar ki aisi image banana band kar dijiye aap. Aage jaakar isse toxic love hi saccha pyar lagega, kyu? Kyuki hum sab uske dimag mein ye sab daalte aa rahe hai.", Purab, who was just a 18 year old lad explained in the most mature way that even his head coach had to agree with him.

"Papa mujhse pyar nahi karte?", Susheela asked to herself, looking down at her hands.

"Nahi. Aur unke pyar karne naa karne se tumhe koi farak nahi padna chahiye, Susheela. Yaad rakho, life mein aage aise bohot se situations aayenge jaha tum jisse pyar karti ho wo tumse pyar naa kare, lekin zindagi waha khatma nahi hoti. Humein aage badte rehena chahiye. Tumhare papa naa sahi, lekin Agniwardhan sit aur main tumse bohot pyar karte hai. Kya humara pyar kaafi nahi?", Purab asked the little girl as he kept a gentle hand on her head.

Susheela had always looked up to her Purab bhaiya who was always there by her side no matter what. Susheela this time again looked up at him and nodded her head.

"Toh fir? Bas, ab rona nahi. Chalo, tumhare match ka time ho gaya hai. Jeetna hai na?", Purab made the little girl stand on her feet and smiled at her.

"Haa...", Susheela said looking down at her battered shoes.

"Susheela, tumhare papa ko lagta hai ki tum apni zindagi mein kabhi kuch nahi ban paaogi, magar tumhe unhe galat sabit karna hai. Aur ye tum jeet kar hi kar sakti ho.", Agniwardhan said as he caressed her hair loving.

"Jeetogi na?", Agniwardhan asked his little student.

"Yes sir, papa ko wrong prove karna hai. Unhe ye batana hai ki main jo chahu wo kar sakti hu. Main unka beta ban kar rahungi.", Susheela said determined. Her father had told her ten thousand times that she can never fill in his dead son's shoes, but she will prove him wrong.

Even though Susheela was determined to win, she was shaken from inside. For every match she went, her father would always ignore her and that was okay for her. But this time he had shaken up her confidence. Her confidence was the only thing that used to win her matches for her, confidence to win, confidence to prove herself and the confidence to strive. But today, it was a little bit shaken up.

Little Susheela was gulping hard as she stepped inside the boxing ring. Her opponent was giggling and laughing as her father cracked a joke with her to lighten her up. Looking at them, Susheela's eyes brimmed with tears but she controlled herself. She was more than enough for herself. She looked down as her father's words echoed inside her head.