Tears of Insecurity

Chapter Ninety Eight

Previously -

As if he was being pulled out physically out of his state and quite harshly, the distant sounds of night chatter of insects were growing more prominent in his ears. The distant blaring of sirens were slowly fading into the fog of nothingness. And all that was left was the sound of shaky words of his girlfriend against his ears and the warmth from her body radiating in him, enveloping him a warm blanket, bringing him back from his small visit to a cold mortuary.
___________________________________________

Susheela quite visibly breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Pramod's pale face return some of its natural colour and his eyes turn from distant to simply confused. Susheela took in a deep shuddering breath and hugged him ever so lightly, afraid she might break something within him. This new delicate behaviour from her was surprising to herself as well as Pramod. As her arms wound around his torso, and her head rested quietly on his shoulder, Pramod's confused face turned into one of realisation.

He had faced yet another one of his depressive phases where his mind would play dirty tricks to hallucinate him and drive him over the edge. His now peaceful breathing was turning rugged, troubled. Susheela noted the instant change in his demeanor and put some distance between them to look at his face. Her eyebrows creased together as she saw his face contour into a pained expression.

His eyes met hers and for a second, realisation hit him. He had just showcased one of his bizzare episodes in front of her. It had stopped a couple of years ago, he had no idea what triggered him. He was torn in being happy that he wasn't alone and being extremely sad that someone had seen him in his vulnerable state. But he quickly reprimanded his distant side, the one who had witnessed his vulnerability was none other than his girlfriend, with whom he was to share the rest of his life. But at the back of the mind he was still restricted to the thought that she might judge him and put some distance between them.

But to his utter surprise, Susheela gently held his face in her hands and caressed his face with her thumb. She gave him a small smile as she spoke, "Don't overthink about it. Whatever it was, whatever you felt, it was just your mind playing games with you. Don't let it bother you.", With that said, she simply closed the distance between them and lightly connected her lips with his.

A gasp left his lips as her soft lips moulded with his again for the second time today. While their first kiss under the breezy rain was passionate and sweet, coupled with a couple of chuckles of disbelief in between; but the kiss they were sharing now was that of reassurance. A reassurance to stand by his side the way he stood firm next to her in anything and everything that troubled her. It was her way of expressing a deep understanding that she didn't judge him, it simply just couldn't come from within her.

Pramod simply stood rooted in a spot as he let her lead this simple yet meaningful kiss. As if someone was carefully cleaning a thick layer of dust from his mind with a slight wet cloth, he instantly felt the cool of the wind blowing outside and the warmth radiating from his girlfriend's lips. As if the clock within his mind was reset to start back again, he slowly felt all the tension dissipate from his body and he lazily kissed her back with his one arm going around her waist and his other hand grabbing at her hair. Susheela smiled inwardly and after a few seconds she parted from him.

With their slightly laboured breathing, they joined their foreheads and looked straight in eachother's eyes. Susheela could see the mist of confusion, the shame, they were all slowly disappearing from his eyes, leaving only the slowly growing familiar warmth he always had when he gazed into her eyes. Pramod blinked a couple of times to bring his dazed mind back to its original state. Susheela gave him all the time that he needed and patiently waited for him.

Once Pramod felt that he was ready to function well, another panic stricken look crossed his face when he realised that now he would have to answer Susheela. But as soon as she saw his conflict she rolled her eyes and hit his arm gently to bring him back from his pity party.