Tears of Insecurity

Chapter Seventy One

Previously -

All the batch mates from the boxing club made fun of her torn and worn out gloves, she wasn't ashamed of using them but now even she felt the need to buy new ones as her old ones weren't supporting her boxing practices anymore. More so, she was going to participate in the district level boxing match next month, it wasn't a want but it was a need for her to have them for her upcoming matches.

"Koi baat nahi papa, aap wo cake return kar do. Magar please mere liye new boxing gloves laa do na. Warna thode paise de do papa, Anuj apne purane wale gloves second hand main bech raha hai, main wahi le lungi. Please papa, de do na. I promise iske baad kuch nahi maangungi.", Susheela pleaded but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
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Dharampal angrily got up and held Susheela's shoulders tightly. "Naa kyu karna hai tujhe yo sab? Kyu boxing jaati hai? Kabhi toh choriyo jaise bartav kar liya kar! Naak katati firti hai tu meri har jagha! Garima jaisa ban naa sakti ke tu?", Dharampal roared angrily. Shishupal, Chanchal and Kusum rushed inside Dharampal's room to see all the commotion. Garima rushed towards her mother in fear and buried herself in her arms.

"Beta, upar jaa kamre mein.", Kusum said to her elder daughter, as she along with Chanchal went up in the twins room.

"Bata kyu karti hai ladko jaisa vyavahar?", Dharmapal shook her shoulders harshly.

"Kyuki mere wajha se wo mar gaya na. Aapko beta chahiye tha aur main aa gayi, mujhe maaf kar do papa.", Little Susheela said in a broken voice. Dharampal left his child's shoulder in shock.

"Ke?", He asked her confused.

"Mujhe mummy ne bataya ki kaise Garima, main aur humara bhai triplets the, magar wo mar gaya paida hote hi. Aapko ladka chahiye tha na humesha se aur main aa gayi, mujhe marna chahiye tha magar wo mar gaya. Papa main lakda toh naa ban sakti magar main uske hi jaise aapko proud feel karana chahti hu.", Little baby Susheela said smiling through her tears.

Instead of taking his little baby in his arms, Dharampal looked at her with disgust. His pain that he had buried deep in his heart came swarming up.

"Sahi kaha tune! Tujhe hi mar jaana chahiye tha! Magar bhagwan ne mujhse mera beta cheen liya aur tujhe ek bojh banna ke mere sir pe maar diya! Tu toh pyar karne layak hi nahi hai. Tujhe hi mar jaana chahiye tha! Tuu kabhi maarhe chore ki jagha nahi le sakti!", Dharampal said angrily.

Shishupal gasped and rushed towards a numb Susheela. The poor girl was going through sufferings just to see a smile on her father's face while he on the other hand was buys punishing her for something that wasn't even her fault. Yes, Dharampal was hurting too with the pain and loss of his son but there was no justification for his actions right now.

Susheela looked at her mother to see if she too thinks the same about her as her father. And to her utter horror, her mother kept her head down and didn't face her. Her mother hated her too for being born before her baby brother and killing him? Was she that bad of a daughter that her father had to say that she didn't deserve to be loved? Susheela cried silently and ran out of the room. Shishupal ran behind his niece to see her breakdown in one of the guest bedrooms under the staircase. (Harry Potter feat Susheela Ruhail.)

Flashback ends-*
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Her father's words and her mother's silence still haunts her to this date. She was betrayed by her own parents. It wasn't her fault that she was born a girl. Maybe if she was boy her father wouldn't have sidelined her that way. But she tried, she tried to be her father's son. But in the end nothing worked.