Poisonous love

Regrets.

I sit down and so does everyone else. I forget a fork so I get back up to find one. As I get the fork and start walking back I feel a strong push on my right shoulder. 

I drop my fork and groan in pain on the floor. I look up and see the same face from before. This happened backstage too. Ugh. Why is this dude moody all the time? Jake or smth. 

"Aish so fucking annoying." I hear him say under his breath. I scoff and widen my eyes at the scene. 

"A sorry would be nice." I finally say after thinking about everything I can say. The f bomb would have been nice but he is my sunbae. 

"You don't deserve a sorry from me." He says while smirking. I get up and brush the dust off my skirt. 

"Fuck you. I was trying to be considerate because everyone has bad days, but your so mannerless." I say while wiping the fork. 

"Hey guys." I hear someone say from beside me. I turn to see Sunghoon awkwardly joining the conversation. 

"Considerate my ass. Your so annoying." Jake says in a aggravated way. 

"What are you going to do? Huff and puff my house down? Shut the fuck up you don't know me." I say stepping closer to him and tilting my head. This is getting pretty heated. 

"I wish I could hit you right now." He says while also stepping closer. 

"Do it. I dare you." I say while raising my eyebrows. 

"Woah Jake. Your out of line." Sunghoon says while pushing him away from me. None of the other members hear as they are talking about iland2 and stuff. 

"How did you even become an idol? I bet all your fans think your so sweet huh?" I say while rolling my eyes. 

"Aish you-" Jake gets cut off by Jay screaming "What are you guys doing over there??" catching the attention of everyone. 

"Nothing." Sunghoon says awkwardly. My blood boils at the arrogance of this Jake dude. I cross my arms and stand in shock. 

"I'm gonna get fresh air." Jake says while storming away. I hold the middle finger up behind him and shout "don't let the door hit you on the way out!!". 

I sit back down in pure anger and poke my food around. 

"Well we were talking about iland2! Remember when you choreographed the dance all night long for the grounders and you didn't even get a good position? I was going to beat up whoever did that." Ryujin says to me while laughing. Leeseo calms her down by patting her shoulder.

"Woahhh that's real dedication Eunbi!" Sunoo says while smiling. I put a fake smile on to not disturb this moment. 

"Why aren't you eating?" Sunghoon taps me on the shoulder and asks. 

"I'm just pissed." I say while shrugging. 

"Wanna talk about it?"  Sunghoon says quietly. I bite my lip and stay quiet. 

"Oh sorry sorry. I just want to help. I know Jake can be a jerk sometimes." Sunghoon whispers. 

"No please stop apologizing. It's not Jake or you, I'm just really tired. Tired of life." I say quietly. 

"Can I have your number? No not in that way!! I just feel like your a nice person to talk too." Sunghoon says while freaking out mid sentence. 

I smile and nod. I take out my phone and switch to Kakaotalk. 

"Oooo what are you guys doing over there??" Jungwon says while ooo'ing us. 

"Exchanging numbers." Sunghoon bluntly says. 

"Eunbi!! You already have so many friends! A lot of them are guys too!! Why are you stealing my friends now??" Jay sarcastically says. I roll my eyes and don't laugh at his unfunny jokes. 

"Nah Sunghoon hyung is in loveeee!" Sunoo teases. 

"Shut uppp!!" Sunghoon screams. I suddenly get a phone call from one of the managers. 

I clear my throat and yell to my members "our manager! Calling me!". I run out the cafeteria to somewhere secluded. 

"Ahem hello!" I say excitedly. Maybe he is going to congratulate us!

"You sound happy for messing up your debut stage! How many times have you practiced to mess this up??! Ryujin's dancing was slopping, Aria's singing was weak, and you! You fell?? Next time I expect so much better. And a lot of comments were saying you looked weak and skinny. Eat a burger or something!! Also the camera man told me you were being childish! Grow up a bit!!" the manager screams at me. 

My heart gets crushed into pieces once again. 

"So-Sorry. I will work even harder." I reply while holding in my tears. I end the call and start sobbing. It was my fault and everyone knows it. Maybe I am childish. Maybe I'm too young to get it...

I ball up my body and start crying until I can't see in front of me. 

"Sorry." I hear in front of me. I wipe my nose with my hand and try to see the male figure. 

"Wh-Who are you?" I ask while the tears are still trailing down my face. 

"Jake. I think your fucking annoying but as a idol I know how difficult it is." I hear the figure in front of me say. 

He is the last person I want to see me crying. Shit. 

"Fuck you. You and your fake personality." I say while wiping my tears with my hand and getting up off the ground. 

"Bitch. Sunghoon told me to apologize, not that I wanted to. So start being better okay??" Jake says sarcastically. 

I turn around to see him again, and see him smirking like he's done no wrong. I get sick and tired and ball my fist up. 

I run up to him and throw a hard punch at his face, pushing him to the ground and falling. 

"I'll start being a better person tomorrow." I say while walking away. All my anger just automatically released. Do I feel bad? Nope. Not at all. But I will definitely regret this tomorrow -_-

I walk back to the cafeteria with teary eyes and a puffy face. I go in, tell the members I'll be in the van and leave straight away. I don't want anyone to know I cried. 

I walk back into the cafeteria and wipe my eyes once again. Everyone looks my way and turns their heads. 

I tap on Ryujin's shoulder and tell her I'll be waiting in the car. She stares at me for a long period of time making me nervous. Did she catch on?

"Did you cry?!! What happened??!!" she screams into my ear and for everyone else to hear. Everyone starts intensely staring at me, more then before. Shit. 

"N-No I didn't. I'll be in the car." I say trying to walk away until I feel someone's grip on my wrist. 

I look back to see Sunghoon observing my face. 

"Let me go please." I say trying to remove his hand from me. He keeps staring at me with a concerned look in his eyes. He pulls my wrist heading towards the door. I follow as I have no more energy to resist. 

"Yah! Sungh-" I hear Jay's yelling voice say before we walk out. 

"Are you okay?? Was it Jake?!? What did he say?!? I'm so sorry! Whatever happened!" Sunghoon starts pleading.