Not Guilty // William Afton

forty six

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LMFAOO you guys are funny i promise something a little more than a kiss is coming soon

William's POV

Jesus Christ, are you real?

I know my father heavily believed in you. If you really are real, could you please explain why he did what he did? Can you please tell me why I am the way I am? Can you please tell me why, you put me in this body that I dread so?

Jesus, if you're really supposed to be a lord and savior, how come I wasn't saved? Why was I the one left behind for Satan to pick up? I don't want to be in Satan's hands. If you're really real, and as good as they say you are, I think I would have appreciated if you didn't leave me behind.

Can you please tell me why these things keep happening to me? I never wanted to be a killer, I never wanted to be the bad guy. I just wanted to feel important, that I could be better than somebody, so I did what I did. Like people said, the Devil was speaking. And now, I can't stop.

I've just become so used to violence, that I'm afraid I might hurt someone again. I don't want to kill anymore. But It'll happen again, and I know it. It's a guilty pleasure now.

If you're real, you'd make me feel normal. Like I'm sane, just like everyone else.

I want to be Henry. I want to be just as sane as him. I don't want to be a replica of my father. I want to get to have a family and a wife, without being the way I am. I want the life Henry has.

I want to be able to die of old age, and stand by the golden gate with you, that is, if you're real. I fear that it is too late for me to even be invited to your heaven.

I don't know what to do. Aren't you supposed to let people find their purpose? Aren't you supposed to guide people down the right path? God, what is my purpose? Why am I here? If your intention was not to help me and give me a life like everyone else's, why did you put me on this Earth?

If you are real, then I hope you can forgive me like everyone says you can. I hope you can forgive me for my unforgivable sins and thoughts. And if you don't, if I don't make it to your golden gates and pearly white clouds, then all I ask is that Willow does. She may not be the most holy person, but she doesn't deserve to be down there with me. She doesn't deserve to meet Satan face to face.

In my eyes, she's an angel. And I hope in your eyes, she could be too.

Please.. Please just let her be with you..

Willow's POV

Yesterday I decided I would finally let Diesel go. His favorite spot would be under this tree that fell over. He would dig a hole under the tree and sit under there. It was his favorite hole, and when he didn't wanna leave it we would trust that he stayed there the entire night, and when we would go back to the tree the next day he would be sound asleep under it.

So, I buried the jar under that tree. To make things even more sadder, the hole was still there after those years. No dirt began filling it, no animals had been living in it, it was just there like erosion wasn't a thing. Maggie came with us too.

"Willow?" Henry knocked on my office door.

"Come in Hen." I responded.

He opened the door and lightly smiled, shutting the door behind him. "Um-"

I looked up at the dirty blonde.

"You know how it's William's birthday tomorrow right?" He asked.

I nodded eagerly. I could not wait for tomorrow.