cruel summer

Chapter 8

Logan

My heart aches from the slight of her. I rush over to her and bring myself to my knees cradling her in my arms. Tracing shapes onto her arms and thighs.

"What happened Thea, are you sick?" I say in a worried tone and instantly regretting it, I don't want to freak her out anymore. She doesn't say anything just shakes her head against my and continues sobbing into my chest. It's funny that we were in this same position not too long ago, but she isn't drunk right now.

I don't want to say anything right now that will make her spiral. I'm so afraid right now, I need her to tell me what happens.

I pull her away from my chest and lift her chin with my index finger getting her to look at me. "Please tell me what's happened Athena, I'm worried about you. Please" it feels like all I'm doing is saying please since I got hear. I want her to willingly open up to me.

She shakes her head again in my hand and pulls away before placing her head back over the toilet trying to throw up what's clearly not there. "Baby stop, that's not helping." I say trying to gently pull her away from there.

I lift her too her feet and carry her to the surface placing her fragile body on the counter. As I examine her face trying to read her.

"Lo.. I can't. I don't know what...I can't breath" she says hyperventilating trying to find the words. It sound like she's having a panic attack. I didn't know she mite struggle with the same things as me, at least I knew how to help her right now, that brings me the tiniest bit of comfort.

"I need water" I thought she was asking for a drink but I soon realise she's pointed at the tub opposite her. I nod and quickly start running the warm and cold water. I turn around and pull her into my arm placing her into the tub. She's only wearing an oversized t-shirt and I wasn't about to take it of her so I let it get soaked in the water. I also start the shower and spray it onto her.

I found that cold water brings me back to reality I hope it does for her because it hurts to see her like this.

I can tell she catches her breath and begins to relax a little but she's still crying. Her beautiful eyes are streaming tears and delicate sobs escape her lips.

I kneel next to the tub and put the shower head back down turning it of before placing my hand on her cheek rubbing slow circles with my thumb on the cheek bone. "Please talk to me" I say it comes out barley audible.

She starts to shake again but it's not because she's having another episode, she's working up the strength to answer. "I can't do this anymore. I want it all to stop" she says breaking down hugging her knees in the bath turning her face away from me.

This causes more worry in my veins. I don't know what she had been through in the past few years and I don't know how to help. I got the feeling she wasn't going to tell me what had happened to cause her manic state.

I didn't want her explaining anything right now I just want to make her feel better. "what can I do to help right now Thea" whispering soothingly into her ear.

"I just want to rest" had she not been sleeping? I pull her out of the tub and sit her back on the counter. "Can I get you out of these wet cloths? I'll turn around if you don't want me to look" I suggest trying to keep her calm.

she nods gently and weekly pointed at a draw that contained more big t-shirts that she slept in. I also pulled out some sleep shorts so she felt more comfortable with me here because I had no intention of leaving her right now. Or ever again.

"Can I pull it over your head" she speaks a barley audibly yes and I slowly reach under the hem of her wet shirt and peel it of her body over her head.

I pull out the dry shirt and take her hands gently, "can you put your hands through it for me" I say to her rubbing her wrists.

After she has her dry shirt and shorts on I let her collect herself still on the counter while I clean around the mess in the bathroom.

After I'm done I come up to her again slowly. "Do you need anything else before I bring you to bed?"

she looks like she's debating her answer before and nods and says. "Your hoodie you left me before is in there" she says pointing at a draw. My heart swells with pride as she says that and I small smile draws onto her face as I reach out and get the hoodie all neatly folded in her draw. I pull it over her head and put her hair into a pony tail after she briefly brushed it out.

"I would have given it back I promise I just..." I quickly shush her "it's yours don't worry ok" I said looking into her eyes before placing a kiss on her forehead.

She silently tells me she's ready and I pick her up by the thighs and rap her legs around my waist carrying her back into her bedroom to her bed. I gently place her down before drawing the curtain I came through.

I'm about the shut the bathroom door and check the main doors locked just in case her dad checks in her and find me here before I feel a tug on my wrist.

"Please don't leave" she says weakly. I would never leave her, not like this. I hate that she thinks I would. "I'm not going to leave you love, I just want to check the doors are shut for you ok?" I say calmly crouched down by the side of the bed stroking her hair.

"Ok" she says, I can tell she's exhausted. I would do anything to take her pain away right now. Just to make her feel a little bit better. It's what she deserves.

After checking everything I walk back over the the bed and she understands what I'm saying and moves over so I can slide into the bed next to her.

I immediately bring my arms around her waist and pull her into me so her head rests on my chest. "Athena you don't have to talk about it, but Beatrix is worried about you ok. Just let her know how your doing in the morning. You don't need to worry about it right now"

I feel her relax into me after I say that. She sighs and nestles her head deeper inter my chest. He arms coming to rest around my body. I draw shapes on her back to try and sooth her so she drifts to sleep.

I'm about to close my eyes when I hear her soft voice speak up, "how did things get so messed up" she says staring up at me through glossy eyes.

I reach to her and tuck a piece of her behind her ear following it with my eyeliner before saying, "I don't know, you deserve better Thena" I say truthfully gazing into her eyes soaking up her features while I can.

her eyes brim with tears and I think I've said something wrong before she smiles painfully at my through tears. "I wish it could stay like this for a little while longer. You'll go back to forgetting me tomorrow" she says before placing her head back down and falling asleep against me.

I can't believe she ever thought I forgot her, that would be impossible. I'm so mesmerised by this girl. I don't fully understand what she said but I understand enough.

And I will make it my goal to make sure she is happy in this world and sees it as a little less messed up. Just like when I look at her.

[AN: short chapter in the double update, I also wrote this at 2am so please ignore any mistakes. ily -Tess]