cruel summer

Chapter 25

Logan

Last night I'm almost positive I ruined every and any chance I had with Athena Renn. I was a complete idiot, she was right in front of me exactly like I had been imagining and I froze and pulled away. Like I always do, pull away.

It was driving me crazy not knowing what she was thinking, I was lying in my bed staring at the ceiling in silence trying to think of what to say to her tomorrow morning. Knowing she was sleeping in the guest room and not with me was making me want to barge in there and convince her to come back to my room.

I looked over at my alarm clock perched on the night stand and it read 05:10, I had already been arguing with myself in my head for hours.

I had fallen pathetically in love with this girl when I was a child who knew nothing of love and I was almost positive I was falling hopelessly again for Athena Renn. All the years I had spent avoiding her and pretending I wanted nothing to do with her was some kind of fucked way of my punishing myself because after my dear old dad left I thought I was so unworthy of any kind of love that I pushed it all away.

Knowing I hurt her so deeply that she is afraid to trust me again breaks my heart because it's my fault. If I had never pushed her away what would it be like now, maybe she would already be mine.

I wanted her to open up to me, I wanted her to trust deeply enough in me that whatever she was dealing with she could confined in me, I could help her. I know I could help her, I would do anything for her.

I knew it was something to do with her family, that much was obvious. Her dad was an asshole, he had no excuse. After his Athena's mother died it should have compelled him to hold closer to his daughter not drive her away. One day he would regret that I hoped, he would see his mistake.

Athena never really talks about her mother, what it was like loosing her. I never brought it up because obviously it was a sensitive topic and I couldn't trap her into speaking to me again. She needed to trust me if she was ever going to tell me the truth.

At some point while I was tossing in my bed trying to sleep I heard my mum come in and move around downstairs and evidently fall asleep on the sofa because she never came upstairs.

It was driving me crazy. I felt my anxiety brewing in my chest and it was becoming increasingly hard to breath. This hasn't happened in the night for a while, since I got Thena back.

I quickly reached over to my night stand and grabbed my phone to call Aiden.

I stood up pacing my room trying to control my breathing, with one hand on my chest I could feel the rapid beating of my heart as I desperately tried to calm it.

"Hello" I heard Aiden Crome clearly just woken up. "You there man? I swear if this is a but dial" I interrupted him before he could continue.

"Aiden" I tried to sound normal but it came out as a strangled breath. I cursed my self in my head. I heard rustling on there other end before he spoke again.

"You ok Lo? What's going on" he said quicker sounding worried. I hated that.

"Dude I don't know it's Athena" my words tumbling out before I could control them. "Is she ok?" Aiden asked instantly. I knew he cared about her too, I liked that there was another person looking out for her.