cruel summer

Chapter 15

Athena

I woke up the next morning in the same position I fell asleep in, curled up and cradled against the wall. I heard my Dad leave this morning slamming the door on his way out, he must have gone somewhere on foot because the dreaded truck still hadn't returned. I made the effort to peel myself out of bed to lock the door before running back upstairs, hoping he wouldn't have a way back in.

I came back upstairs and stared numbly at my room. The ruined books and pictures still sprawled all over the floor. I noted the left overs of the burnt picture where I had been held down by my neck by my father.

I couldn't cry anymore I felt so empty. I took a step in my room and shut the door. This used to be my safe space in this house. The only place where nothing bad had happened. From the events of a couple weeks ago I could barely stomach the thought of standing in the kitchen. I didn't eat or communicate with any one for days after he was drunk and thought I was mum and did that to me. I had done my best to not think about that night recently. Trying to act like it never happened wasn't now as easy as I thought.

I had suffered through 5 years of beatings no doubt in my mind now that he replaced me as his bunching bag from my mum when she died. He raped me while I was unconscious in the kitchen floor while he thought I was her. It had made me sick thinking he had done that to her. I blamed her for so long for leaving me. Now I don't blame her at all I understand that she didn't see another way out. But I wasn't like her, I wouldn't do that. I needed to be stronger.

I hadn't changed out of my cloths since I got back from work yesterday and I needed to wash this feeling off of me. I had a quick shower where I scrubbed myself relentlessly until I was red all over desperately trying to wash his hands of me. I slipped into some comfy shorts and Logan's grey hoodie I still had.

I walked out of my bathroom looking back into my room taking a deep breath. I picked up the picture that was nothing more than a back ashy scrap and put it in the draw of my desk, not quite ready to through it out for good.

I put of some quiet music on my record player to distract my self myself while I cleaned up the rest of my mess. I found missing pages from book and placed them on the inside and placed them back on the shelf.

Once everything was back to some what normal the music had ended. I had decided what to do next before I even got out of bed this morning. I through some spare cloths and toiletries into my bag along with my school stuff, camera and a book before climbing out my window onto the tree to Logan's bedroom.

I nearly fell of at least five times because I haven't done this in a long time but it brought back some happy memories of sneaking out so innocently to see him as a child.

I reached his window and tapped gently against it hoping he would be awake as it was still pretty early. I stood for a minute hearing rustling coming from the room before the curtains were drawn and he makes eye contact with me.

I smile gently at his shocked expression as he looks at me crouched by his window balancing on a tree. He's still and silent for a moment before he opened the window and without a word pulls me in by the waist at puts me down stood in his room.

"Thena fuck. What are you...how did...are you ok?" He rushed out in hurried breaths. He still has his hands in my waist as his eyes dart worriedly all over my body.

"I'm..." I stoped myself, I was about to say I was ok but that seriously wasn't the case. "It's complicated but I'm better now" I said not being able to think of a better answer.