Death Threats......To My Cat

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I'm currently making death threats to my cat because she's on my bed just chewing every. Single. Fucking. Thing on my shelf and I don't want her to choke so I'm screaming at her to stop.

Me: OREO STOP CHEWING SHIT!!!!!

Oreo: *nom nom*

Me: I DONT WANT YOU TO CHOKE AND DIE!!!!!

Oreo: *doesn't give a fuck about what I'm saying*

Me: I SWEAR IF YOU KEEP CHEWING IM GOING TO THROW YOU OFF THIS BED AND KILL YOU!!!!!!

Oreo: *does. not. give. two and a half. fucks*

Me: *screams and throws whatever she was chewing across the room*

Oreo: *gives me a 'What the actual fuck?' face*

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