Clouds Against the Eclipse

Please take me anywhere but here

Mature content warning! Thank you so much for reading :)

*I do not condone the actions in this chapter including but not limited to underage drinking*

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Bella's POV:

Three cups of punch later and it feels like I am having an out-of-body experience.

My face is numb, my bladder is full and I desperately need a bathroom. My current seat on the couch, snuggled up next to Jacob while he enthusiastically chats about cars with Ben, has suddenly become very uncomfortable as I realize how badly I need to pee. I make a wobbly move to stand up and feel Jake immediately shift his body, halting his conversation with Ben to check up on me.

"Where ya going, Bells? You feeling okay?" His concern is obvious from his tone, particularly because he witnessed me drink all three cups of the punch I had so he definitely knows that I'm officially drunk for the first time.

"Yeah, yeah of course. Just gotta use the bathroom, I'll be right back." I'm surprised to hear that my voice doesn't really sound like my own, my words coming out slightly slurred and mashed together. I feel the blush rise in my cheeks as embarrassment washes over me, worried what Jacob will think despite the fact that he gives no indication of judgment.

Of course not. Don't be silly. This is Jacob we're talking about.

"I'll come with you." Jake helps me up as he stands from the couch, steadying me when I lean heavily against his side. "Don't worry Bells, I got you." His grip on me is gentle but firm, guiding me to the bathroom that Jessica showed us earlier in the evening.

Since the angry growl I heard after that first drink of punch, there have been no other signs of the figment of my imagination that is Edward. It is possible that the alcohol is numbing my senses completely instead of animating the illusion I so desperately desire, which in turn is having the exact opposite effect that I wanted.

I guess all the liquor was a total waste then. Great. It's what I deserve, I guess.

Jacob and I reach the bathroom and I am relieved to see that there isn't a line, although quite a few people have gone home already. The party has winded down significantly and the pop music is still fairly soft in the background, the faint sound of conversation sounding very fuzzy in my eardrums.

"I'll wait out here for you." Jacob attempts to mask his worry by tossing on a casual grin, leaning his back against the flowered wallpaper behind him.

"You don't have to, Jake. Honestly, I'm fine. Promise." I enter the bathroom and give him a thumbs up, managing to smile although I'm kind of starting to feel like I have to throw up all of the contents of my stomach.

"Sure, sure, Bells." When he makes no move to leave the hallway and continues leaning against the wall, I sigh deeply and close the bathroom door, accepting that my very overprotective best friend is definitely not going to let me puke in peace.

After finally emptying my bladder and washing my hands, I decide to splash some cold water on my face to try to avoid this horrible nausea that I am suddenly experiencing. My fingers grip the sink for balance as I begin to feel light-headed, regret coursing through my veins along with way too much alcohol.

Oh, God. I am never drinking again. This is awful.

I sink to the bathroom floor and sit with my head between my knees, praying for this torture to end one way or the other. My heartbeat is a loud thrumming in my ears and my stomach is in knots, every part of my body aching for my bed in the most desperate way. The music from the other room is drowned out by all of the blood and thoughts rushing through my head, forcing my anxiety to grip me in a neurological chokehold.