A Crown of Clouds

Chapter 11

My head had started to pound with a headache the moment I opened my eyes, but I'd pushed the pain to the side, taking in the surrounds and struggling to keep my jaw closed. I thought it a waste to throw the ruby red poppy away, I held onto it, as though it were a friend accompanying me, oddly making me feel less alone. My kitchen knife I stashed in my boot. Mother would be in absolute heaven if she could see this right now, then again, I thought, maybe she had been here before? Could she have possibly kept such a beautiful secret from me my entire life? I felt a little shocked at the anger I felt, forming tension in my head, I'd felt frustration and annoyance for her many times before, but not this odd feeling, yet what would anger do now? Mother was dead, and here I found myself - wherever I was, whoever that made me... I had so many questions, I would find out, I resolved, I had to! Maybe it would give me something a little more lively and colourful to live for, it almost felt wrong, how quickly my sadness was turning into an amalgamation of reckless curiosity and excitement. I'd die trying to find this out, I thought, twirling the flower in my hands and surveying the land. This would be the greatest equation I'd ever solve.

The sun was high in the sky, it must have been nearly midday. Each direction was just as beautiful as the last, making it that much harder to consider which direction to walk in first. I'd have chosen North, if I knew which direction that was, True North sounded like a safe bet. I closed my eyes trying to feel for any sort of inkling in which direction to take. The sounds of birds, the gentle sway of the wind, the waterfalls...the delightful melody was enough to make me breathe so deeply, letting all the tension go my body had held onto just minutes ago.

I'd head towards the waterfalls, there was something about the water that enticed me, something that simultaneously sparked my senses, yet gave me such overwhelming peace I couldn't put my finger on. Getting lost in such a beautiful place sounded like the most enticing adventure, yet I knew the sun would go down eventually, I had to make haste - if I'd learnt anything in the last twenty-four hours, things aren't always what they appear to be.

It only took a few minutes of walking in the warmth of the midday sun, before I was ripping my denim jacket off in haste, I slung it around my waist. The jacket refreshed my memory at the same time...Alex. I couldn't let myself think of what had possibly happened to him, I'd fall down a dark spiralling slide of blame, guilt, and shame, along with the paralysing depression all over again. Yet it was Alex's face I couldn't rid myself of as I walked the two or so kilometres through the valleys near the falls. Sweat beading down my face and on my skin... the shade of the valleys and cold falls would be most welcome. My stomach started sounding like a roaring waterfall of its own, I never did get to eat that Italian takeaway I was so darn hungry for.

Nearing the edge of a pool from a smaller waterfall, my dry mouth started to pant for water, before I knew it, the desperation had turned into a run. I ripped my now sweat-soaked dress off and dived into the water, scooping it up and drinking it in by the handful. I figured the water looked as clear as water could, it had to be good for drinking. I flashed in my mind back to a cold night chasing James for my clothes. If you'd told that version of Hal where she'd be now, she would have laughed and spat in your face, yet here I was.

My body heaved a sigh of relief as the cold water cooled my aching body down, I must have walked for hours already. Laying on my back I floated for a moment...if only all my worried, unanswered questions could be made to float like this, to feel weightless from life for a moment. I dared close my eyes for just a moment before heading back through this shaded valley and into the heated plains beyond, I'd remember this feeling, recalling it to mind when I felt the sweat replace the water I was held up by. Alex's blue eyes seemed to be haunting my wandering thoughts, a kiss shared with water pooling around us. I had to rid my mind of him, had to focus on the task ahead, the task I knew nothing of, only the answers I wanted.