A Crown of Clouds

Chapter 22

"Mum! I don't care what you say... this isn't one of those situations where you give me your buddha quotes or whatever..." I was completely drunk, my words were slurring and sloshing like the alcohol in my veins. "Your hair looks like corn," I let out a peal of rippling laughter between burps, "oh my corn, I'm so hungry!" Normally she'd be laughing at my joke by now... her face was still painted with worry, bordered with frustration.

"Hal Lancaster! You... listen to me okay," she was getting worked up. I couldn't understand why, but I rarely saw her this way, and when I did... I listened. I tried my hardest to focus my intoxicated drowsy eyes on her. "Oh Mumma, what's wrong? I'm sorry... wait, what did I do again." I said sitting down next to her and placing my hand on her quivering knee.  "Hal... it's been three days since you've been home, no calls, no messages... nothing!" I looked into her glazed watery eyes. Three days? Not possible... I'd been at a party for one, or maybe two... nights. "It's been three days? Oh shit! Mum, I'm sorry I didn't call... but, I mean, I'm an adult, and you need to let me be one." I was impressed that the words I thought of in my mind were coming out only slightly slurred.  "Hal, you aren't..." she paused. standing up and pacing around the room and wiping her eyes. "You're right, you are an adult... but Hal, you are so much more than that." She sat back down, looking down at my hands she'd grabbed in her own, then up again."You're all I've got!" There was silence, yet her eyes spoke of her inner turmoil. Then there were two of us with tears streaming down our cheeks. I'd gotten so carried away, it was spring break, and I must have been so out of my mind that I'd lost track of time... and lost my mind along the way, who knows what I took, I remember taking a pill Regan gave me, probably too drunk to say no or even question what it was. "I'm so sorry Mum!" I said, embracing her tightly... she must have been feeling lonely, and I'd been a fool and let myself go. "I just felt like I needed to let off a little steam, I'm sorry Ma!" She stroked my head as we both cried, my tears splashing on her lemon yellow dress.

I wiped hot tears from my face, surrounded by Jazminda's clothing that reminded me so much of mother's wardrobe, filled with ninety per cent floral dresses... half of them covered in paint flecks, 'character' she would call it. I snuffed the sound of my tears as I looked at the wardrobe lined with colours and fabrics fit for a Queen, thinking of my dearest mother. I wonder if she'd ever planned on telling me the truth about who I was.. if she came close? If only I'd known why she was so upset and worried... the thoughts that must have run frantically around in her mind, that night must have nearly killed her... only she was killed by those evil hooded men only one a few days after. There it was... the thought that seemed to keep me going, driven by raging hate and regret.

"You nearly done in there?" Jazminda rapped on the door, I must have been in here for about half an hour at least... If I was honest, I felt as though I needed another day entirely to process what she'd just told me... it was like my ears were still ringing from the bomb she dropped. From an age old prophecy to ancient pathways between realms. It turns out a mythical bird can tell you quite a lot in one minute.

"Yeah, give me a moment," I said after clearing my voice. "My vision felt blurrier than that three-day bender and I couldn't tell the roof from the floor, I was going to vomit my entire stomach up indefinitely. I leaned over the sink groaning, looking up into the mirror, my reflection was smudged as if one of my mother's sponges had wiped over my face leaving me splattered on the mirror. I looked back down again in time to aim where I chucked my lunch... I hurled, again and again, one after the other it didn't stop. I could barely hold myself up and my legs felt like flimsy sticks that could snap at the slightest breeze.

Suddenly there was a hand pulling my hair back, Jazminda. "I don't blame you at all!" She said, as she tied the mop back and threw my arm over her shoulder, holding me up. It seemed more and more by the minute that Jazminda was not who I thought her to be at all... and apparently, I was not who I thought I was at all.  "You know, I've spent my entire life running from who I was... from the pressure of being a royal. The harder I tried to run, the more it would slap me in the face - You can't run from who you are... who you were made to be." Jazminda sounded... well, not like the snarky-nosed Jazminda I'd known.

"When did you get so wise and..."I hurled again... feeling like I could pass out at any moment. Jazminda laughed, her laugh reminded me so much of Cole's. I wondered how I would ever hide the thoughts, the things I now knew from him. "You'd be surprised at what you can do when you have to, and... I do feel for you... you know, that you didn't choose this, and, well ...that I had to be the one to tell you." Jazminda's tone had completely softened. I sat there a long time while Jazminda stroked my back, I felt like the life in me had been completely spewed up and flushed down the toilet. I washed my face, wishing the water was colder. Sitting back down against the cold marble floor. I looked Jazminda in the eye, hers filled with a bizarre combination of kindness, pity and pure fire for her plan. "So, what's the plan Jazminda?"

"Oh please!", Jazminda snarked, "call me Jaz! And as for the plan... that's something I was hoping Cretan could help out with, I've been told he's been teaching you a thing or two?"

"Goodness! I wish he'd only taught me a thing or two, he's taught me more than I'd like to know and more than I hope to ever use," Jaz laughed at my groggy voice saying the words. "You know, I thought I'd noticed you gaining a little muscle, I couldn't put my finger on it... but I guess it makes sense now considering. It's actually a wonder Cole has never picked up on it..." I was about to tell her Cretan had something to do with that but felt my head spinning as though I might hurl again.

Jaz eyed me, then continued, "speaking of, any suggestions on what to tell Cole? I was thinking of telling him and mother dearest I've gone to Port Hurman for a week, or perhaps you asked to see some more of the country, or assist me in my wedding plans for a week..."

"Wait, what's this about a week and a wedding?" I'd just gotten Cole back, another week away from the one person that made this place a little less foreign sounded like torture. "Well, we'll need at least a week to teach you to transport properly, then you'll need to learn how to create an illusion to fool even learned men. It took me months to learn how to do it well! You might have just little over a couple of weeks at best. And... you'll need time to process it all... you know, the whole axis depending on you thing, well half dependant on you. A week at least should help you sort through your feelings and what you want to do, if you saw Cole now he'd read it all over your face."

"You're actually giving me a choice? And wait, you aren't mad that Cole and I are... well I don't really know what we are, but you know?" Jazminda didn't seem phased.  "To take the choice away from you would be cruel... and I intend on never becoming like my mother if I can help it, and yes, I've seen the goodness in Cole too, to be fair, I have also seen the side that is scarily close to mothers, but again, a person's choice is theirs, who am I to stand in the way?" There was so much distaste in her words about her mother... I'd only seen glimpses of how Tessanda could be - sweet as pie, yet bitter as gall, and it seemed she wasn't much of a mother to her only daughter either.

"Although, judging who your mother was... I'd say I already know the choice you'll make." Jazminda winked as she grabbed a bag from the cupboard and started shoving clothes in. The way I saw things, I didn't have a choice, honesty with Cole would mean I'd certainly lose him, yet it wasn't what I'd lose that really churned my stomach... it was the number of others who would lose out on a chance to see their loved ones... and the blood would be on my hands.

"So, what'll it be Hal? A trip to the countryside or Port Hurman?" Jaz grabbed another bag and threw it at me, hitting me square in the face. Lack of manners certainly ran in the family. "Pick whatever you want..." she said, pointing at the wardrobe. I thought for a moment before grabbing some clothes. I loved the water more than anything in the world, it seemed like an easy choice, but when is the easy choice the best choice? I'd certainly be distracted easily by the sea... the countryside was beautiful, never really my vice, but it would do, it would help me train.

"Great choice," said Jazminda I love the countryside." I'd barely finished stuffing a few things in the bag when I looked over at Jazminda, who'd finished frantically scribbling some things on a piece of paper, whizzing her hand she sent it flying up, it disappeared through some vortex of sorts she'd created in the air, next thing I knew she was zipping up my bag and grabbing my hand. Before I could protest or speak a word, I was looking over a lush sea of green and rolling hills off into the distance. Breathing in the crisp countryside air seemed to help the nausea I still felt. It could be the first day of spring here, I thought, it sure was far prettier than I gathered my week or my destiny could be now that I knew I might very well be the key to unlocking the axis.