incandescent (3.)

EXIST.

        I STARE AT Braylen with incredulous eyes. He doesn't look at me.

        "Is that what you want?" I rasp, my voice not sounding like mine. None of this felt like it was real. It felt like we were two people I was watching on screen, rather than living it in real life. "For this to be over?"

Tears stream down Braylen's eyes. "No," he emphasizes, shaking his head. "No, you're not—you're not listening to me. I don't want this to be over, I just want you to be here."

"And what about my job? What about my family? You're being unreasonable, Braylen."

He rolls his eyes. "I'm not! I have been going through hell," he whispers, crying freely now. "And you haven't been here! What am I supposed to do with that, Rome?!"

"And what about me?"

"I have always been about you! I have never, ever complained! I have never asked you for anything, ever! I fucking need you, Roman, and you've left me here."

I lift my hands exasperatedly. "So, what do you expect me to do? Pack up and leave Italy? Leave Verdant, move my family back to Malibu? Isla doesn't need an unstable environment right now!"

Braylen makes a face. "Yeah, as if her life hasn't been unstable so far."

My face contorts. He sees it, sees that he's gone too far. I watch as his mouth opens, an apology quick to fall out, but I've stopped listening. "What the hell did you just say?" I hiss, standing up straight. "I have done my best, Braylen. That is all that I have ever done. What, do you think you'd be the most dependable person in a kid's life?"

"I thought we were talking about you and me," he breathes, eyes watery. "What do kids have to do with any of this?"

"Because I have a fucking kid, maybe?!" I shout, rolling my eyes. "I see forever with you, Braylen. So yes, we're talking about kids because that's what I want. A future with you. Don't you want that?"

His lips are shaking. "You know that I do!"

I place my hands on my hips, breathing deeply. And then, I say, "Do I?"

He glowers at me. "Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

I pace around the room. Stuff my hands in my pockets. "I just...we fell in love because of someone else, Braylen. And I know that time has passed and some part of you might have moved on, but some other part of you is always going to love him more than me."

Braylen's eyes widen. "What are you even talking about?"

"What do you think I'm talking about?"

Braylen scoffs, shaking his head. "Are you seriously jealous of a dead guy?"

"I am not jealous."

"But you think that because I loved him, I can't love you? That is bullshit, Roman! God, you're going to drive me insane!" Braylen screams back, running an angry hand through his hair. "Sebastian doesn't exist anymore."

I clench my jaw. "But if he did? You'd have chosen him, wouldn't you?"

Braylen stands to his feet and glares at me with the heat of a thousand fires. He'd never looked at me with this must anger before. This was more. This was hatred.

"Fuck you," he spits and then turns to the door to leave.