"I want to love you again, but I don't know how. Maybe I'm not like the moon. The moon is pure, an incandescent light in the midst of bitter darkness.
I have never been that forgiving."
WARNING: This is Book Three. If you have not read "affluenza"...
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HIRO STARES AT me with an incredulous expression. "You seriously hooked up with your ex-boyfriend? More than once?!"
I shush him, afraid that his voice would echo through the sleeping house. I decided to stay the night at Oba's, though Nox and Robs returned home hours ago. Hiro and I stayed up late after dinner, talking and gossiping on the living room couch. Someone had spilled the beans about Roman being back in town, meaning I now had to spill the beans about Roman being back in town.
I reach over and take a long sip of hot chocolate before responding. "Yes, okay? Are you trying to tell everyone on the block? I know it's stupid."
"It's reckless, is what it is," he spits back, eyes flaring in indignation. "Somebody's gonna get hurt. I'm sure somebody already has. I need you to make sure it's not you."
"Okay," I murmur, smiling sadly. "Okay, I know you're right. Trust me; nothing's going on between Roman and me at the moment. I'm barely speaking to him right now, actually."
Hiro nods in assent. "Good. Because he left you heartbroken. I would kill him if he weren't so strong."
"He's sorry," I mumble, rolling my eyes over the word. "Why is it that everyone thinks things can be fixed with one simple apology? Roman, my parents...it's all such bullshit."
Hiro bites his bottom lip like he always does when he's thinking about something. Under the low glow of the lamplight, I see tears prick at his eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" I murmur, reaching over and touching his shoulder.
"Your mom didn't want to meet me," he whispers, shaking his head. "It's because I'm like him, isn't it? Like our dad?"
My breath hitches in my throat. I had forgotten he was so perceptive all of the time. "She just didn't want to make you uncomfortable, Hiro," I whisper, reaching forward and wiping a tear from his face. "And she didn't think you'd like her much, anyway. But it's not because of you, okay? None of this is your fault, it's just the way things are."
"It's not fair," he whispers back, crying more freely now. "What he did to you. I hate him for it."
"Don't," I murmur, voice getting thick with tears of my own. I sigh sadly, grabbing both of Hiro's hands and staring at him. "What happened with me and Yuko has nothing to do with you. And you're right: what he did wasn't fair. But don't spend time hating someone you loved for my sake. Your father is still the man that you knew. Knowing me doesn't have to change that."
I wrap him up into a tight hug, our mugs of hot chocolate long forgotten about. I hadn't thought about Hiro's perspective of all this much before—I'd been so concerned about my own. But now I could see things clearly. The multitude of good memories he had with his dad were all stained with the truth from his forgotten child, his older brother. I couldn't begin to imagine the guilt of loving us both. I squeeze him harder.
