Withering Head Wounds - Soudam

The Stream of Thoughts

"I– do apologise." Gundham finally managed to say, turning around to pick up the other cup. "I have...never hosted a guest overnight in my realm...and well-, it being you means a-a lot to me." He tried to clear his throat, at this point just fiddling with the cups in his hands out of restlessness. "A-Are you sure you don't want more tea? There is plenty–" he then seemed to immediately backtrack, shaking his head as he thought out loud to himself. "No, no, it's alright. I'll drink it later if I can't sleep..." He chuckled nervously, rushing to take the cups into the kitchen and soon coming back with a thermos. As he poured the remaining tea from the pot into the thermos, Gundham took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Again. My...apologies. It was a sudden ask and I'm not used to such things. It's alright, you are still welcome to stay...'' All he needed to do was try to stay calm. He did that and he could fantasise all he wanted later.

Jeez, why was he acting so weird? Kazuichi narrowed his eyes a little at him. Maybe trusting him so easily was a bad idea. Did he have something planned? That must be the only excuse. They were enemies, and out of nowhere, he was acting nice to him! Maybe he was like everyone else. Maybe he did think it was Kazuichi's fault as well. Panic began to slowly set in Kazuichi's head, as he took a few steps back, glancing over to the door for a short moment before back at the breeder, chuckling nervously. "Y-Y'know...if you're not comfortable with someone staying over...I get it..." he started, before biting on his bottom lip once again out of habit, practically almost trying to come up with some excuse to leave. Things were getting weird. "I-I can come over another time if ya want..." his eyebrows knitted as slight anxiety was obvious across his face. Maybe he should just avoid Gundham from now on? Kazuichi didn't know much about his occult stuff whatsoever, maybe he was going to try to put some curse on him as he slept? The longer time went on, the more scenarios popped in his head, only causing him to freak out more.
"No, please!" Kazuichi suddenly flinched as Gundham shouted out, his body completely freezing for a moment as he gazed back at him with some fear in his eyes, before noticing that pain in his voice. His gaze had softened ever so slightly, still keeping some distance from him, but not looking as terrified.

"It's alright. Please...I want you to stay..." Gundham seemed to calm down significantly, sighing to himself as he stared at Kazuichi. Of course that would freak him out. He'd never been that flustered around anyone before so it was understandably strange. But he also didn't want Kazuichi to feel like he wasn't wanted there, because he wholeheartedly was. Taking a deep breath in, the breeder stepped closer, gently placing his hands on the mechanic's shoulders. "I'm sorry, tamer of automations...I do not mean to frighten you..." He took some time to examine his face, seeing the anxiety spreading over it. He'd really fallen that far into his embarrassment, hadn't he?
"I am...not used to these feelings. Not discussing them or having myself an outlet. They are overwhelming and I'm unsure how to handle myself." Which was exactly how he felt with this crush. He'd never had a crush before this and he wasn't really able to compose himself just because of how intense his feelings had become. But he made sure to keep his wording vague, to allow Kazuichi to make a connection to Sonia rather than something else. "I do not believe I have...proper methods of...coping." He always did hate explaining his feelings like this, his grip on Kazuichi tightening as his eyes drifted down. "I do not wish to cause you harm, please believe that. I truly do want to be around you...if you'll allow me to, of course. I...understand if I have ruined today for you however. I only ask that you forgive me and allow me to try once more. I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable."

Kazuichi's body tense the whole time he spoke. He felt a little guilty for immediately assuming the worst in him, but he couldn't help it. They were enemies for a long time, and now he was being nice to him after his best friend, whom he had always hit on to an uncomfortable extent, had died. It just didn't make any sense. He hadn't ever seen Gundham express any genuine emotions, and he probably just didn't know how to deal with them. Anytime something happened, he must've bottled it up. The guilt he had felt began to grow as he continued on. Kazuichi let out a small sigh, lifting one of his hands to lightly place it on the other's, mostly to give him some reassurance but also to hint at him to let go of his shoulders.
"Yeah...I get it, emotions can be hard." He replied, knitting his brows a little as he glanced down at the ground. "I miss her a lot too, I just don't really know what to do with myself anymore..." he continued on, biting down on his bottom lip as he attempted to hold back his tears once more. He was so emotionally exhausted, but at least he wasn't bottling it up like Gundham had seemed to be doing. "I'll stay...but y'know, don't be afraid to let your feelings out." He started before giving him a small, weak chuckle. "When ya don't, ya get all weird 'n shit..."