Phantom Recall

24 || just a freak

My heart is pricked.

I pick up my pace as much as is possible while aiding the limping Noir at my side...fleeing from Iver, or rather, from the beasts which he restrains within his own gate of power.

He's incredible. I can't really place my finger on it, but I can't divert the source of my feelings, either. He's made it more than evident by now the way in which he looks up to Leon, but so suddenly have I begun to find myself harboring such thoughts about Iver. The sheer control he has over his abilities, his spirit magic, the blind courage he possesses in the face of even such towering perils like the phantom beasts.

Could I ever reach that level, I wonder. And if so, how long would it take?

How long...do I have to suffer being such a coward...?

Though my mind wanders into dark waters I don't slow myself in the slightest. I keep pressing on through the fog, holding Noir against me, and with each shudder he makes my focus is rooted again. We just have to go. We have to find our way back to the lounge, to do our part, and wait for Iver. It's the least we can do — the least I can do.

Why did I have to be such an idiot??

I just want to be capable for a change.

I wanted...to catch Skull...to make use of myself.

And now...

Noir's shaking has only gotten worse since we first left Iver — however long ago that was. Everything has begun to look the same, and of course the concept of time has long since vanished from the moment we stepped off that train into the border realm. I'm not certain of anything. Feeling as though a stem of my own consciousness has been snipped, I'm as good as blind here.

Holding to Noir right now is the only thing grounding me to reality. Realizing this, my determination to ensure his well-being skyrockets.

"We're pulling this car over, young man."

"What?"

I start steering him over to the side of the road, where I can at least visualize the empty lobby of what appears to be a dentists office or clinic of some sort... the sign is too hazy, I can't make it out. But again, it's empty, so that's all that really concerns me right now. If we could just have a few moments...

"Will, this isn't—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know it's not the right way, but I'm not taking any more risks, buddy..."

I'm thankful at least that he doesn't try to argue with me any more. Holding Noir steady, I attempt to push my shoulder through the glass door but to no avail. It's solid, and thus I'm left with no choice but to use the handle — at least it's unlocked; however, what a confusing place this is. Why had I been able to phase through the door to my apartment, but not this, unless it merely has something to do with the former being a 'memory'...hardly a sensible explanation, I would argue. Granted, nothing at all makes much sense anymore.

I scan Noir's face anxiously as I lower him to the white-tiled floor of the lobby. It's surprisingly tidy in here. No black smoke or haze slips through the cracks in the door, just as had been the case at the apartment complex. And what a relief. Even though I wasn't the one who was injured, I feel like I, too, could benefit from a breather indoors.

I could go for a little more light in here, though. I suppose beggars can't be choosers...

As the breath in my lungs meets the air, I crouch to sit on the cold floor next to Noir. His face is the same as ever. Clenched jaw, taut eyebrows yet nothing behind the eyes. My gaze drops to his arm resting at his side — he's straining himself still. I can see the veins in his forearm threatening to burst with how forcefully he clasps his fist. My own muscles tighten.