Phantom Recall

35 || out of place

I arrive back at the warehouse before Harlow does. Not by a huge gap, but it's enough time to really let me soak in the familiar emptiness of being alone in this place. I got used to their company. And I can't deny that I haven't been able to fully erase the image of Takashi's face from my mind. I wouldn't say I'm paranoid, per se...I have confidence that he won't be coming back again, after all. I could tell Noir wasn't lying about that much. But regardless, the air here still holds a lingering bitter taste that I doubt it would ever be rid of.

I lose myself in thought, sitting alone by the small fire in the center of the room. Harlow slowly creeps up into my line of vision. I flinch and look up at her.

"Oh, you're back," I say, clearing my throat. She forces a smile and crouches down to sit on the floor next to me. Alba and Rowan, too. I hadn't registered any of their footsteps somehow...

"So we are," Harlow says. "Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not really...I don't think."

"Lost track of time, huh?"

"...yeah."

She draws in a deep breath, then sighs. Out of guilt I try to avoid her caring gaze, yet again feeling as though I've disappointed my own mother. I know she doesn't see it that way, though. She's said it before, how she only wishes I could learn to be a little more easygoing. But I'm beginning to accept that might not be within the realm of possibility for me.

"Physically speaking, you appear unharmed," she adds after a moment. "I can gather the beast was gone by the time you got there?"

"Yeah." I straighten out my slouched posture a bit, accidentally glancing up to find Rowan and Alba both staring at me. Unblinking. "A, uh...friend of...Leon's was there. Apparently Leon told him to take care of the beast while he attended to other things."

"Oh." There's an immediate shift in Harlow's tone. "I see."

I almost expect Rowan and Alba to get up from their seats and head to the other room — a small flashback occurs of the last time we were in these positions, when the mentioning of Leon's name triggered this same reaction out of Harlow. I guess things are different now. Maybe it's become less of a private matter over time without my realizing. Or it could be partially due to the half-demolished wall that would eliminate any privacy to begin with. Whatever the case, I swear I could feel Alba's gaze grow even more intense as he listens silently.

"And these...other things?" Harlow asks. It's a rhetorical question, at least to some degree. I urge myself to make eye contact this time.

"His list. I think he's serious about speeding up the process now..."

"List?" Rowan speaks up, drawing both our eyes to him. "What list?"

"The..." Harlow seems to wrestle with herself for a second on whether or not to tell him. But she concedes. "...the list of names, Rowan. Remember I mentioned it once? One of our friends who used to go to the spirit lounge learned about it and told me. I haven't...seen her in a while, now that I think about it..."

I find myself tongue-tied, observing Harlow as her face becomes weighted by an emotion even she couldn't mask. But it only lasts a second. She seems to catch herself, and with visible effort, she shakes her head so as to dismiss a brief moment of weakness. It doesn't sit right with me. Not that reaction, nor the fact that I'm just sitting here, not doing anything about it.

And what is there to be done? I want the threat of the phantom beasts to stop. I want it to be over with, almost more than anything. At the same time, I can't say I've reached the mentality of 'at any cost' as Leon seems to have. Holding that notebook in my hands, I had only briefly skimmed through the pages. Just how many names were crossed off, and how many remained, and how many were added on a regular basis, I have no way of knowing now. Not unless I waltzed right up to the lounge like I did today and waited for Leon this time.