Red,White and Royal blue

CHAPTER FOUR: WALMART

TW: homophobia

Alex and Henry are relaxing in Alex's bed, Henry is sitting between Alex's leg with Alex's phone in his hands. He was scrolling thru tiktok when he saw a couples-challenge where you get something for your partner that represents something about the other person, like their favorit color or activity. Henry stopped to watch it.

"That looks like fun" Henry said. Alex strokes Henry's chest as he says "oh yeah, the Wallmart challenge, i did that with Nora last year, and she gave me this huge inflatable boat and said it reminded her of me, i still dont know why but, its Nora so, Anyways, Have you tried it?" Henry holds Alex's hand and fiddles with his fingers and says "I've actually never been to wallmart." Alex stops dead in his track and turns his body and Henry's head, almost breaking it, to look him in the eyes and say "you mean to tell me-" He paused taking a deep breath "you have NEVER been to Walmart?"

Alex articulated every word like Henry was hard of hearing and looked at him with a look he couldn't quite read, like he was wounded by Henry's mouth but also like it was the funniest thing he'd every heard.

He feels Alex shift and sit up, Henry follows pursuit. Alex stood up and peeked his head out the door and yelled "Juuunnee" no response. Henry sits on the bed confused as Alex disappears out the door and into the hallway. In the distance he hears Alex knock on a door and say "Juniper" some more inaudible wispers were hear before a loud "what!"

Which is how Alex, June, Nora and Henry ended up in a black suv on their way to Walmart. "ow" Alex said as June hit him in the face with a pice of fringe from her black fringe jacket as she was showing it of to the group. "June, stop flapping your arms in my face, or im gonna send Amy on you" Alex exclaimed while holding his face where the fringe struck him. From the front seat Amy said " please don't involve me in you bickering, I would rather like to keep this job." June turned her gaze to Alex "you were saying" Alex crossed his arms and leaned back In the seat and said "fuck off" Henry and Nora look over at their partners and then at each other and start snickering, until Alex and june chime back at the same time "don't you dare" "I will end you." they look at each other and start laughing to.

they arrived at the store in their carefully picked out disguises, and make thier way into the store. It only took two seconds of being in the store before Alex turned around and saw that Henry was nowhere to be seen. He wandering the store multiple ailse of decorative pillows and candles before he found Henry at the end sniffing an assortment of sented candles.

He was just about to walk over to him when someone walk up to him from behind and said "Jesus, he migth as well be wearing a shirt that said, I like dick." It took a while before Alex realised that the scruffy looking man, dress like he was going camping, was actually talking to him. Alex looked at his outfit and realised, that the combo of kaki shorts and flannel was making him look, well, not gay.

Alex was just about to open his mouth to say somthing when he started talking again. "You know it's just so Weird, like I'm not homophobic or what ever, it's just that you don't have to go about showing of like that, I'm just thinking of the kids, like I don't want my kids to be like that you know sniffing candles and looking at trowpillows."

And that's when Alex desided to do the thing he loved most, annoy people into having things his way, because why not, they did come here to have fun rigth. So instead of listening to his intrusive thougths telling him to hit the smug bastard in the face, he simply said "yeah no, I wouldn't want a candle sniffing child either." He let his texan accent out to its fullest to make it more believable.

"I just don't think it's healthy you know, the kids getting affected by it" the man continued with "yeah, no definitely not healthy, kids eating it up and, all that wax and smoke." He looked at him confused by the answer, but then he said "yeah, man it nice to know that there are some real men out there like you. We are the ones that need to go forward about this as good examples"
The man said, clearly reffering to being "manly men" and straight. At this point Alex said "oh yes I completely agree, we need to stop the production of these terrible poisonous scented candles before more kids get hurt, thanks for standing with me."

Alex patted him on the shoulder and he looks like someone just told him that five plus five was 22, but the again he also looks like the kind of person who would belive that. But he acted like he understood, probably because he didn't want Alex to think he was stupid.

Henry looked up all of the sudden and walked toward Alex, the man turned around and said "oh shit it's coming over here, we better hide." The man joked to Alex, but Alex stood firm when Henry aproched and wrapped his arm around Henry's waist and said "Hey Hen" and kissed Henry quickly on the cheek.

"You're that happy to see me, I've only been gone for-" Henry looks at the watch on his wrist. "Oh goodness we've been here for almost half an hour already, you're rigth, this store is fun. I found All this cool stuff." Henry said smiling widely pointing to the abandoned cart in the candle isle. " I should probably go pay for that so we can go home, you coming?" Henry said walking towards his cart. "Why don't you go get a head start and I'll come see you when I'm done, okay?" Alex said, making sure the Okay? At the end actually sounded like a question so that Henry knew he had the opportunity to tell him to come anyway, but he didn't. "Okay" Henry said smiling and basically skipping away with joy with his little cart.

Alex turned around toward the strange man In camping clothes. He opened his mouth huffed out a laugh and said "i didnt realise you were friends friends with that homo." At this point Alex gets pissed. He then opened his mouth and said "nah." The stranger replied "good" and Alex continued " I'm married to him." The stranger eyes flicker to Alex hand and the gold band on his finger, and the to his face before he goes pale. A look Alex has seem a million times before.

The stranger starts to panic and says "I'm s-so s-sorry your highness, I didnt mean to,to," Alex just stared at him and started to walk away, when the man stepped in front of him and got down on his knees and said "please there must be something I can do"

"There he is" June chimes as he gets in the car "what took you so long?" June punches him in the shoulder. "Nothing. You'll see" Alex answers. The group give him a joint look, knowing no questions were answered and more created. He sits back into his seat, and as if on cue a "what" (Henry) "The"(Nora) "Fuck"(June)

The man previously mentioned in this story was now standing on the parking lot of the mall wearing nothing but a pair of rainbow speedos and an American flag as a Cape. On his chest the words, "don't fuck with Diaz" were written in what appeard to be spray paint. The man was standing on top of a gray Toyota singing, good save the queen on the top if his lungs, while doing the makarena.

They drove away form the parking lot smiling to himself. Henry, Nora and June stare as the man disappears in the horizon, all open mouthed and speechless. They turn to each other. "Oh, I love this song" Alex says truning up the radio playing a remixed version of some 90s rap song. "So yall wanna get mc Donald's?" Are the words that come out of Alex's mouth next. And the group still unable to prosses what just happened, answer with a variation of, "yeah, sure, why not "