Funny Jokes, Quotes, Sayings and Texts.

Jokes Pt. 1

***** These aren't mine they are ones I just found and thought were funny********

1. Old people at weddings always poke me and say "Your'e next." so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

2. *At a restaurant* 

Waiter: "Would you like a table?"

Me: "No, I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for five please?"

3.Man and wife were watching a boxing match where one of the boxers got knocked out in the first round.

Man says, "Very boring it was all over in 1 minute."

Wife replies,"Now you know how I feel."

4. If i lived below a tap dancer I would put really strong magnets on the floor.

5. If a single teacher can't teach us all the subjects then how can the expect us to learn all of them.

6. If you don't want a sarcastic answer then don't ask a stupid question.

7. Lebron better than Jordan... HAHA. Holler at me when Lebron saves the looney-toons from an alien race.

8.A cop just pulled me over and said papers so I said scissors I win and drove off.

9. If I ever offended you just know that deep down..... I really don't care. 

10. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people .... "Alright get in the basket!"