Guarded

Chapter 17 Where do Broken Hearts Go

Chapter Song: Where Do Broken Hearts Go- One Direction

It's been three weeks. Three brutally long weeks without her. I've tried calling her every single day, but still no response. I want to believe that she'll come back to me, but with every day it keeps looking worse. I'm sitting at Vinny's Irish Pub with Joe and Ashton, attempting to have a good time. I'm a few drinks too gone when I see Dom walk in.

"This is what you've chosen now?" I nod and take another sip of my beer.

"She broke down hard core tonight after seeing you. It terrified me that she could relapse. She's my fucking baby sister yet I can't protect her from herself." He orders a Jack and Coke from Whitney the bartender, and then looks at me.

"I want to believe that you can fix whatever that fuck head did to her, but lately all she's done is shut everyone out. She's built an impenetrable wall that I don't know if we'll ever get through. She's been through so much Conrad, I'm just terrified that she'll go down again and not come back up." My bloodshot eyes meet his.

"Does she miss me?" He closes his eyes and nods.

"She wants to believe that she's forgotten about you, and that she could care less. I see it in her eyes that she misses you so much. She's went back to her irregular sleeping patterns, and barely eating. She stopped going to her therapist because she told her to hear you out. Her doctor watches her like a hawk since the first incident, because of how unstable she's become. I want her to tell you what's going through her mind." I sigh and watch him pick up the drink that Whitney gave him. He chugs the entire glass down and orders another.

"I'm going to need to forget about all of these problems for once." I nod and chug the rest of my beer. Alcohol has become such an immense relief for me these past three weeks without her. My only issue is that it numbs me for awhile, but not for how much I need it to. I need to be numb until I hear her tell me that she forgives me. I never should've left Nova out of my sight that night. I should've told her where I was going. I should've explained to her about Jillian. I should've told her everything.

Jillian and I grew up together. Our parents were best friends, so we were always together. She ended up liking me while I just wanted to be friends. Every time that I had a girlfriend she'd ruin it by saying that I cheated with her. Whitney slamming a shot in front of me wakes me from my gaze. The other guys have already taken theirs and I down mine letting the alcohol burn down my throat.

"Call her?" I look up at Whitney's sympathetic gaze. She's watched me drink myself to damn near death these past couple of days, and I know it hurts her. I shake my head to her question.

"I've tried for three weeks, and she won't respond." She holds out her hand for my phone so I just give up and give it to her. I watch the bottom of my glass until I hear her speak.

"Is this Nova?" Silence.

"Hi this is Whitney from Vinny's Irish Pub. I've been watching Conrad drink himself to death. Can you please just talk to him, because you both need to figure all of this out." She nods.

"I can understand that, but please just talk to him." My eyes shoot up when I feel her tap me.

"She wants to talk to you." I nod, grab the phone, and go outside so I can actually hear her.

"Nova?" The line is silent.

"Please baby if you're there just answer me and let me know that you're okay." She sighs.

"I'm okay Conrad." I hear her whisper.

"You have no idea how much I've missed your voice." A sigh escapes from her end and I just close my eyes.

"Nova I'm so sorry. I promise that I can explain everything." I hear her sniffling, and it breaks my heart. I hurt her.

"Please don't cry."

"It hurts so much." My eyes widen.

"What does?"

"My heart. You promised me that you wouldn't hurt me again. You said that the last time was it. Why'd you do it?" I lick my lips and run over the possible ways to explain this.

"I didn't mean to I promise. I was just trying to get her a cab so that she wouldn't drive home drunk. She kissed me I swear."

"I want to forgive you Conrad, believe me I do, but I'm too scared you're going to hurt me again."

"Why don't we meet and we can talk about this. I can better explain things so that you don't get the wrong impression about it."

"Not now, you're too drunk." She giggles on the other end.

"I would love to see you now, but I can agree with you on that. When can

I see you?"

"How about tomorrow? I'm probably not going to school tomorrow since I've been up all night crying." I sigh and nod like she can actually see me.

"I'm sorry for everything Nova." She sighs.

"I know, I just thought you could love me." She hangs up and leaves my head spinning.

"I've been in love with you ever since I heard you laugh at my pathetic jokes. I love you because you see the real me." I say even though she isn't on the line anymore. I'm just standing there listening to the dead line.

~~~~~~Next Morning~~~~

I wake up with a killer head ache back at my moms house. She left when Nova and I were on good terms, but now everything's fallen apart. My phone reads 10 AM, so I get up and shower before I call Nova. What do I even say to her?

After a quick shower I down some Tylenol for my headache. My phone starts ringing and I see that it's Staff Sergeant Whitmore.

"Yes Staff Sergeant?"

"Conrad are you able to come in and cover the office for me for a few hours today? All of the others seem to not answer their phones. I forgot that it was my anniversary, and I need to go get my wife something."

"I think I can do that. I'm bringing Nova with me since we have to talk things out."

"Y'all in a fight?"

"Something like that I guess." We both chuckle in response.

"Well don't have sex in the office."

"Noted." I hang up and put on my fatigues before dialing Nova.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I have a question for you." I bite my lip hoping she won't shut me out.

"Shoot."

"My Staff Sergeant needs me to come in for a few hours. Can we go get some food and hang out in the office. I know it sounds terrible, but the guys decided to screw me over and not answer their phones."

"Are you picking me up?" A grin spreads across my face.

"Well obviously crazy. Now get dressed because I'll be on my way soon." She laughs and then hangs up without another word.

Just to be able to hear her laugh makes me have some hope left for us. I run to Starbucks before picking her up and guessing on what she said her favorite drink was. As I pull into her driveway the nerves begin to spiral. I turn off the truck and go to the back door where Vixen is jumping everywhere. I knock on the glass door and see Dom appear and open the door.

"She's finishing getting dressed, but she knew you'd want to see Vixen." I nod and shake his hand.

"Thanks man."

"No biggie." He nods and shakes my hand in return.

"Good luck bud." He moves past me and out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey loves! :)

I'm sorry for such the delay for this update but maybe there will be a double update today!!!! Everything's going pretty good here. My brother's getting married this weekend so that'll be really fun!!

Vote & Comment

XO

Izzy