Guarded

Chapter 4 Greenlight

Chapter Song: Greenlight by 5SOS

I curl up in a bawl on the bathroom floor and just sob. I've done such a good job pushing everyone away and not letting anyone in. When I got locked up all of my "friends" left ecept for Piper and Will. They all saw how fucke dup I'd become. Now they all look at me like I'm some ghost. I begin sobbing and not I can't even control it. God Nova why do you always have to ruin everything? The voices return to my head and I can't stop them. 

"Stop it!" I scream as loud as I possibly can. Relax Nova you need to breathe. Breathing will help make the voices go away. Breathe Nova. I hear pounding up the stairs and the door flys opes revealing Piper and a shocked Zeke.

"I need you to go into her room and grab the second bottle of meds and a bottle of water. She's having an attack." Zeke's eyes bare into me just shocked by what's happening. He doesn't love you. He's just going to hurt you like he did before. It's because you're not good enough. 

"Go Zeke!" Piper holds me close to her.

"Nov I know this is hard but you need to breathe. Breathe girl." I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Stop it!" You're not good enough Nova. You'll never be.

"Nova please you need to relax okay. Open your eyes and look at me." I do what she says and stare at her.

"Good. Now do those exercises Dr. Andy told you to do." I nod and breathe in and out, and repeat it many times. Zeke comes in and hands Piper my meds.

"Do you need them or are you okay?" My breathing has relaxed and the voices have stopped. 

"You're all right Nova. Do you want to get up or wait unti you catch your breath?" I open my eyes to a calm Piper and a very worried Zeke. She let's me go and hands the pills and water bottle back to Zeke. I can't even look at him. Did I really have an attack right in front of him?

"Nova?" I close my eyes, nod, and hold my hands up for her to help me. Zeke grabs one and Piper grabs the other to help me up. 

"I've got her Zeke if you could get her bed ready and I'll walk her there." They act like I'm completely immobile after an attack. I can do basically everything, it just takes me awhile to get my brain to comprehend everything. I've only had four attacks since Zeke ruined me. Piper helps me walk out of the bathroom and into my room. Zeke walks up to me with a sweatshirt and leggings.

"I know you get really cold, so I figured you'd need some comfortable clothes. I'll go in the hallway so you can change." He walks out and Piper sets me on the bed.

"Arms up." I hold my arms up and she removes my tank top.

"I was waiting for you to have another attack. It's been two months since the last one." She slips the sweatshirt over my head.

"I've got it." I stand up, unbutton my jeans and slowly slide them down my legs.

"You're going to fall over Nova. Please just let me help you." I sigh and she tells me to sit down so she can take them off of my legs. I slide the leggings up my legs and lay on the bed.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this Piper."

"Do you want him here or do I need to kick him out?"

"If he wants to stay then he can."

"I'll go ask him then. Make yourself comfortable." She walks out of the room and I crawl under the covers. I grab the remote and turn on the TV. Zeke comes in my room and sits on the bed followed by Piper.

"I'm going out with Dustin. He ditched school so I'm going to his house to watch movies and get my surprise." Then she looks at Zeke.

"Let me remind you again if she says leave that means leave. We got lucky this time where she didn't need to go to the hospital. So behave you to." She grabs her purse and leaves. She's leaving me alone; with him.