DOOM SAGA I - I'll be home tomorrow

Day 209

Argent d'Nur

The early blues and greys crept along the walls silently. It took a moment to figure out that she was no longer in the neverending flicks in her mind but watching reality. Her limbs felt heavy and stiff, and taking a deep breath was an alleviation of unimaginable dimensions. She rolled onto her back and turned her head farther to see him slumped against the side of the bed. His sleeping face was not peaceful, as even when not awake a frown drew on his forehead and his eyes twitched aimlessly. Her benumbed arm dragged over that her fingertips brushed his tousled outgrowing hair lightly before she wandered to his chin and cheek where she fondled the stubbles that had not been there when she had fallen asleep. The touch spooked him and his sticking eyes had not even opened entirely as he threw himself on her and pressed his face into the crook of her neck. Dizzy and disoriented she did alike and just lingered, her throat dry like the desert she didn't think she could say anything anyway. And for a reason that she couldn't grasp, she began to whimper as her chest felt devoid of life.
But now she had returned.
Three days, almost. She gulped another glass of water, not caring as some dripped down her chin. All her joints were aching badly and she inspected the little sore patches along her body from laying for too long. She waited for him to come back to the bed, a warm bowl in his hand. She wanted to try it. And maybe even felt some appetite rise in her gut.
He sat down in front of her, and she wondered what the second spoon was for. She was now fully awake, yet everything still felt fictive. The portion he had brought was big, too much for her alone, but she expected he would eat the rest himself.
She grabbed a spoon and shoved it into the sweet mush but he stopped her hand. She let go and instead he raised the spoon and held it up for her. Bewildered she looked at him and the spoon in front of her face. He had stopped feeding her weeks ago, though she never had rejected his help any time later. Maybe he thought she was too weak?
She opened her mouth and felt her face rush hot with embarrassment when she snatched the hole serving and slurped it off. She shook her head and pulled the blanket up to hide her face. Why did it feel so different this time? The way he smiled tiredly at her, the dark circles under his eyes. He had been at her side the whole time. Again. She knew as she had been half awake sometimes, hearing his voice, his prayers, his-- She needed time to think about her dreams.
She was still weak. But she wanted to try. His grumble let her look up again, and overwhelmed by her thoughts she had not noticed her swallowing the mouthful without any problem. She wanted more. She opened her mouth another time but he shook his head. He led her hand to the second spoon, took a full load and rose it up to his mouth and inside. Her wide eyes stared at that big man happily taking a feeding from her, and a warm trickle ran down her spine and filled her chest with an unknown joy. A quiet and broken giggle managed from her weary voice chords and he smiled at her sweetness that he had missed for too many days.
One for her, one for him. But they couldn't eat all of it. Yet he did not take a single bite more than she had taken, and when they had finished, he had simply put it away instead of eating the leftover. She didn't like that, he needed more than that. She could never eat enough to satisfy him. Even her sad groan didn't change his mind.
"I would like to go on a small trip. With you. To visit a friend. In a few days' time when you feel a little better and the weather is nicer."
Her eyebrows curled at such words coming from his lips.
"We need to walk, it's about a day away. I don't want you to become sick or cold on the way. We need some better clothes for you. I already arranged the tailor to make something better fitting."
Her gaze was still unsure, while she buried herself in the blankets again.
"Don't worry, they invited us.  Amal and Sadex are--"
He stopped as he saw her confused face.
"The guards. Sadex is my friend's grandson, and Amal is Sadex's brother-in-law."
Her expression relaxed a little as she tried to understand. But she still kept quiet.
"Are you still tired?", he asked but she shrugged her shoulders without meeting his gaze.
"What do you want to do? Is there anything I can do for you?"
She huddled tighter as he asked, and she shrunk back even further when she answered.
"I want to be alone."
She paused and peeked through her shut eyes in fear of his reaction.
"I know I just wo-" "Okay"
Unbelieving her mouth stood open mid-sentence.
"Okay.", he repeated and his kind eyes lured her from her hideout.
"Do you want me to just leave you to yourself, or do you want me to leave the room?"
Baffled and guilty her gaze retreated as her eyes searched for an answer, and he had an
idea of what was going on in her mind. His fingers brushed along her jawline to draw her
attention again.
"Io. Please don't think like that...", he said and hesitated, looking for the right words.
"I was too demanding of you, wasn't I?"
He sighed and swallowed.
"You were not ready. But you lied to me because you thought I was losing my patience. You thought I would be angry, and disappointed.", the way he said that sounded not like a question, but a fact. He kept his eyes on hers, which made it hurt even more when she blinked away tears.
"Tell me what you want. Tell me all that you need. If you want -- need -- to be alone, no matter for what reason, that's okay, just tell me. I don't expect you to run by my side like a well-behaved dog all day long. All I expect from you is to decide for yourself, to decide what is best for you. I don't and cannot know it. And maybe it sounds stupid, but I believe in what you tell me, in everything. You can lie to me every day, I would not question it, but you need to know that whatever you decide to do or say, it's up to you, not me, nor them. You will make mistakes and fail, still, if the consequences would hurt you, I'll always be ready to protect you. Always. I'm not angry that you lied to me, I am because I made you. And I know that this, now, is on me. It's my fault."
Her wide stare continued for a minute, her eyes burning as she grimaced.
"I'm sorry...", she sniffled, "I don't wanna hurt you!"
She shuffled closer, and he leaned in so that she was able to reach him. She stroked her face into his and relished the sensation for a beat, before her cold fingers ran over his face, rubbing on the light crust that came from his eyes and his tired skin as she groomed him feebly, correcting his untidy hair.
"You don't.", he whispered contently, not even opening his eyes.
"You make me happy."
She wailed loudly at his words as if he had hurt her and withdrew a little, hiding her face while her body shook. She nodded, first timidly, then wildly. Her voice creaked as she couldn't speak right, couldn't answer. He carefully embraced her, holding her firmly. He tipped his head onto hers, still fighting the exhaustion that had clung to him for days now. She did not cry this time. A deep sigh left him.
"Should I leave? Or just keep my distance?", he asked once more. He had to wait for the answer.
"Leave. P-please...?", she mumbled into his shoulder. He nodded for her to feel.

Slowly gliding her hands through the powdery snow she felt the excitement grow. The thick leather and fur mittens didn't let any cold in so far, and her whole body was snuggly and warm packed in her new clothes. It was a little harder to move around as the leathers and fabrics made her joint stiffer but she could barely tell when she had played outside in such a perfect winter wonderland the last time. A naive giggle escaped her throat and a devilish smirk was hidden behind the scarf that covered half of her face. She pushed the little pile tighter and did her best in forming a ball, knowing that he wasn't looking right now. But when she turned to aim, a big icy projectile hit her face directly. She squeaked surprised, moaned and shuddered as she shook it off like a dog, chunks sticking inside her hood. Her shocked look changed quickly as she watched him laugh, turning into an angered growl she let out a loud battle cry, not caring about the grin that came with it.
The guards posted in the area looked up and around and with them a few of the people that walked by on the pathways. The snow that lay in the small garden swallowed her echo, and as the Slayer heard it he rushed behind one of the hedges that formed corners and nooks to sit in peace during the warmer times.
Figuring out a plan she hid in the opposite direction of him, shovelling a low wall and preparing a couple of snowballs. She knew she had an advantage of her smaller size and as soon as she heard the creak of layered snow she aimed. He jumped out of his cover, releasing three shots at once with his big hand, but to his stupefaction, all hit nothing but her little wall and the empty space behind. He carefully crept closer and saw her footprints. He followed them with his eyes and before he could raise his arm in realisation got one hit right to his face. A few more followed as she attacked from within a hole in the hedge, not even big enough for a normal human. He stumbled and fell into a heap of snow as she laughed triumphantly before she hopped up to run away again. A second later he heard her squeak and a dull THUMP. When he treaded around the corner, he saw a familiar face next to her on the ground, and the same one standing behind them boast into laughing. She must've slipped on the ice beneath the snow and caught him in the way. Now Tobin was trying to get up and it was a whole spectacle as he couldn't find any grip with his armour. His twin-brother Perrin meanwhile was enjoying this comedic moment with brotherly love. They had followed them there but stayed behind at the entrance to the garden. As his struggle went on for a couple of seconds, he became angered by his laughing brother and jumped to catch his leg and pull him down as well. Now there were two of them fighting and slipping on the ice. Io began to laugh too, and her voice became strangely deeper and melodic, as she was happy like that for the first time in weeks, if not months. He had never heard her like that, thinking this must be a part of her she was still hiding from everyone. She had crawled to the rim of the ice and was now rolling in the trampled snow before his feet. He looked down at her, and the weight on him felt a little lighter again. Maybe they were finally getting forwards.
"We just...", Perrin heaved out of breath.
"We just wanted to ask... if we can join you...!", Tobin panted instead.
Io's head popped up immediately, and she gleamed at him above. He did a nod paired with a devilish smirk.