In Love And Death

You can't forget the past.

"You'll be fine." Brian said, pulling me away from the window and onto him. "This will be fun for you." He smiled, telling me everything was going to be okay.

"I'm not to see her for a while. I miss her all fucking ready," I said, trying not to cry any harder than I already was.

Stefan sat up a little and looked over at me, our eyes connecting. "You're be fine, we've been on tour for two years. I haven't seen my family for a while. I'm alright, you'll be fine too."

"Alright," I said, calming down a little. Brian brought me closer to him, kissing my cheek.

The driver looked back at us for a second. "We'll be there around 8 if you waned to know." He turned back to look at our somber faces. "You all okay?"

"Yeah," Brian replied, "Just focus on driving." he turned back to us. "What do you all want to do before we get off this bus?"

"I don't know. We should pack up some of the stuff in here," Steve said, going over to his bunk and taking out all the cords and other things in the bed.

"I forgot about that," Stef said, getting up. Brian followed. I sat up and got my phone out to say my goodbye to my friends. I first off had to say something to Quinn. He was the one who showed me a new home.

Z: Hey, I'm leaving for London.

I didn't think he would pick up so I texted some others.

Z: Matt, I'm leaving for London soon.

Z: Jepha, I'm leaving soon.

Z: Branden, I should've said this to you first but I'm not going to see you in a while. I'm going to London.

I even had the guts to say something to Bert, even if he wouldn't get it.

Z: Bert, I'm going to be in London for a while. Even if you don't get this message. I just wanted to say something to you.

I felt stupid once I wrote it. I meant to hit cancel, but my finger slipped and hit send. I got a little scared if he would say anything. I felt my phone vibrate as soon as I put it back in my pocket.

Q: I'll miss you. Love you Zo, call when you get there.

Z: I have one question to ask before we leave. What happened to Bert?

Q: Why? He almost killed you.

Z: I just want to make sure I will be fine.

Q: Fine, I actually don't know where he went. I heard that he went to a correctional facility or something like that.

Z: Okay.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked, sitting next to me.

"Taking to Quinn about something," I didn't want to sat what.

Q: Well, I'm recording some music right now, Bert is coming over sometime this week. That night he was on a lot of drugs and he overdosed later that day. So he's getting help then coming over to record.

"Bert is the topic," He said, eyeing the messages that I got.

"Yeah, " I sighed.

Z: Well, hopefully I'll be fine. Love you Quinny.

Q: Talk to you soon Zo. Bye Joey :)

"You two have nicknames for each other." Brian said smiling.

"Yes, we've had them forever." I said, putting my phone back and sitting up to lay with Brian.

"Well, yours to me is Zo Zo," he poked my side.

"Your name is Bri Bri." I said, kissing his cheek.

"Zo Zo." He kissed my lips softly.

"Bri Bri," I fell back on the cushions behind me. Brian kept his lips on mine and crawled on top while brushing his finger through my hair slowly.

"Hey, you already got her pregnant." Steve said, coming through the hallway.

Brian pulled away from me and turned at Steve. "Hey, I'm allowed." He looked back over to me. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said quietly.

"Good," he smiled and bit his lip. "I don't want to hurt you." He leaned back in and kissed the nape of my neck. I saw Steve roll his eyes and leave the room to go hang out with Stef.

I moaned quietly and pulled his face slowly back up toward mine.

"I love you," Brian said quietly, "Your mine." He took my hand in his.

"I love you too." I said, playing with his fingers.

He sat back up and brought me up with him.

"You are going to love it in London. Hopefully you'll actually get to meet my parents, who are actually pretty decent." he said, smiling after a little bit of waiting.

"Maybe, I've never been to England before. So I'll see the up and downs of it for the first time." I replied, with a smile.

"Yeah, there are a few ups and downs, but I'll teach you to get used to it." He looked down and played with my fingers.

"Thank you so much for everything." I said, passionate about what I said.

"Welcome sweetheart." He kissed my forehead.

Stef came out into the section of the bus we were in. "You guys done with you little fucking?" He asked, sitting down on the couch across from us.

"I think so," I said, looking at my phone again, I had gotten a text back from Bert.

B: Zo, I love you. Don't leave here please. I'm sorry, I was on a lot of drugs, I thought it wouldn't go that far. Please come here to see me. I want to start over, I love you. I never meant to hurt you like I did. Adam mostly had that planned out. Just please, I love you and do anything for you. I miss you, I've never felt this way for anyone. I just want to know your okay and love me the same way.

I sighed, what Bert had done was idiotic of him. I liked him before all this chaos happened. Now my love was a just a dream that would never be fulfilled.

Z: Sorry Bert, I wish I could see you. I've moved on though. What you did was the worst thing you could've done, I'm sorry if you miss me and want to see me. But I'm leaving and starting a new life.

"Fuck," I sighed, saying that to Bert made me feel really depressed. I rubbed my face and looked down, saddened by Bert's mood.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked, looking over at me.

"Just this whole Bert thing. He wants me to come see him, but I told him I've moved on. I just wish that fucking never happened." I checked my phone again, Bert had gotten my message.

B: Fine then, hopefully your happy with your new life. Goodbye princess.

Z: Goodbye Bert.

"Same here, you wouldn't have a fucking terrible past to look on." He sighed. "You're fine now. I have you now and we have a fucking kid to look forward too." He kissed my cheek.

"You wouldn't met us either. So I guess, be happy with your life right now." Stef added, looking over through the hall of bunks to see Steve alone. "I'm going over to him." he walked into the back.

"I'll be just fine," I said to myself, trying to be happy. I got more texts from Jeph and Branden, they said their goodbyes. I was sad about leaving, but at the same time I was going to start over and try to live a better life.

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Okay, so I'm thinking I will make this a two-part story. So when this story is over, I'll start on part two. But this isn't over yet, I'm writing a little more before this ends. Be ready for the end on Friday or around that day.