In Love And Death

Sleeping is all that matters anymore.

"Whoo, last show." Brian yelled from his chair in the bus. Stef and Steve where not awake yet, but Brian and I were up at 9 a.m. and waiting to get around to the venue. It was going to take a few hours to get there though.

"Whoo," I drank some lemon tea that Brian made. "Let's make this great." I smiled.

Brian smiled. "I'm getting majorly stoned tonight. I don't give a flying fuck." he was excited. He took a sip of his tea and calmed down. "You?"

"Maybe," I took a sip of the tea. It was really relaxing. "Hopefully I know my parts."

"You'll be fucking badass." He put his cup down and pointed at it. "I may of added honey and brandy to this. It's fucking delicious." He drank the rest of it.

"Ok then, this early?" I asked.

"Hell yeah." He went over and poured more into his cup. "I'm awesome like that."

I rolled my eyes. Brian was already drunk. He had woken up at about 7, and he had been drinking all day. It made sense.

"You want any?" Brian sat back over with me.

"No," I pushed away the cup he offered me. "You should proly stop drinking that soon."

"I will, just this last cup." he finished it off and threw it away in the small trash compartment under the sink.

"Okay," he layed back in his chair and stared solemnly out the window for a minute. "I'm going back to sleep," he stood up shakily, "you coming?"

"I'm fine with being awake." I watched him go back to the bunk and flop down before shutting the curtain.

I realized my mother would proly want to hear from me. I went over to Brian's bunk to find it.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Let me find my phone." I turned on the little light in the bunk and looked for it around Brian. It was close by his feet.

"Goodbye." I shut the light off and let Brian sleep.

I turned on my phone and called my mother, she picked up immediately.

"Hi mom," I sat down in Brian's chair, it was the closest.

"Hey, how are you?" She sounded happy.

"I'm fine. Are you ready to see me tomorrow? It'll be the last time I see you in a while." I was sad now.

"Yes dear." She sighed, "I'll miss you."

"I will too," I felt a few tears fall away from my eyes. I wanted to start a different conversation. "So it's the last show tonight."

"Yeah, what about it?" She was confused why I picked another topic.

"I'm playing in it." I tried to make myself happier.

"That's cool," she paused for a minute. I heard my father talking to her in the background. I didn't know what exactly he was saying . "I gotta go, bye Zoe." She hung up before I could say another word.

"Bye mom," said solemnly to the phone. I sent it down and leaned up against the window.

"Everything alright back there?" The driver called out. He heard nothing from anyone else.

"I'm alright," I kept having the thought of leaving my family. It made my voice shaky.

"Okay, we'll be there at around 4." He went back to ignoring me.

I started crying a little, I kept it hidden though, the driver didn't ask if I was okay or not. I just wanted to feel back home and normal for a while. Hopefully I would feel that tomorrow.