This isn't weird.

Full of Sparkles

 The cheerful Millie that had left the apartment scarcely fifteen minutes before was not the Millie who returned. This Millie was quiet and sullen, retreating straight to her room and closing the door behind her without so much as a word. Maybe she'd had a fight with Ben, Tess thought hopefully when she saw Millie's grim expression. Maybe she'd figured out what a creep he was all on her own.

Tess knew from experience that it was best to give her some space in the early stages of this sort of mood; sometimes, the girl just needed a good sulk. Thirty minutes or so passed without a sound before Tess decided it was time to check in on her.

"Millie?" she called, knocking on her bedroom door.

"What?" Millie's voice was gloomy and muffled. Tess eased the door open and peered inside. There on the bed, Millie was curled up in the fetal position with her back to the door and her face pressed into a pillow.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Tess asked.

"Nothing."

Frowning, Tess let herself in and took a seat on the edge of the bed. She leaned over Millie, stroking her hair back from her face. "What happened? You were so happy earlier. Did you get into a fight with Ben?" Fingers crossed.

"No."

"Millie. Come on, talk to me."

"Ugh. Fine." Millie finally rolled over to look at her, though her posture remained decidedly fetal. "You were right, okay? Are you happy? You were right."

"Right about what?"

Millie closed her eyes and took in a long breath. The exhale came out as a quiet whine. "I'm a stupid fucking lovesick puppy," she said, wincing as if it physically pained her to say it outloud. "I wish he was straight, Tess. And I'm really..." Her voice broke. "Really sad that he's not."

"Oh, Millie." Tess put a hand on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Why now? What brought this on?"

"Ugh. Being around him today, all covered in sweat like that... I don't know how to explain it. His body odor did something to my brain on, like, a chemical level. It made me feel crazy. Stupid, dumb, primal, monkey-brain crazy. If you weren't here I think I might have done something really embarrassing."

"I'm glad I was here, then," Tess replied. "I know you'd be crushed if something happened and you guys couldn't be friends anymore."

"He'd think I was such a creepy psycho," Millie whimpered, rolling back onto her side and hugging her knees to her chest.

"It's not that bad, honey. We've all had a crush on a gay guy at one point or another. It's just hormones. Go see Genevieve tonight, get laid a few times, it'll pass."

"Yeah, I guess," Millie mumbled, drawing her knees all the way up to her chin and hugging herself harder still. "He's gonna fall in love with Keith and they're gonna get married and live happily ever after and he's gonna forget all about me."

"Oh, come on, that's crazy talk. Keith could do way better."

"Not funny."

"Kind of funny."

Millie sniffled. "I want him so bad, Tess. And I can't have him. It's not fair."

"What even is it about him that you like so much?"

"Everything."

"Come on. It can't be everything."

"Everything."

"Use your words, Millie."

"I don't have words. He just... his eyes are so pretty, and his smile is made of sunshine, and when he looks at me it feels like I'm all full of sparkles, and he smells like heaven, and every time he hugs me I just wanna stay there til I die, and I wanna kiss him so bad, and sometimes I almost trick myself into believing that he's thinking about kissing me, too, and then I remember—" She let out a quiet sob. "I feel so stupid."

Wow. This had been an even worse miscalculation than Tess had realized. She almost felt guilty.

"Aw, come on. Don't cry. You just need to take a cold shower and think about something else. You'll forget all about this in an hour or two. And... you know, maybe you shouldn't see him quite so much, if you're feeling like this."

"...Maybe." Millie was clearly unhappy with the idea.

"It's gonna be fine, girl. Don't overthink it. As long as you don't say anything, it's not gonna get weird."

"Yeah, you're right. I just need to keep my mouth shut and get over it." Millie pulled her pillow over her eyes and sighed. "I think I need a nap."

"Alright, Mills. Take a nap. Then we'll go shopping and forget all about this, okay?"

"Okay," Millie agreed. Tess squeezed her shoulder one last time before slipping back out of the room.

For several minutes, Millie just laid there, restless and despondent. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see him smiling at her. Goodbye, Millie. My least favorite Millie. Perhaps the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. How the hell was she supposed to listen to him say things like that and not kiss him right on his stupid, beautiful mouth? Especially if he was going to walk around all covered in sweat, practically waterboarding her with fucking pheromones. She was only human, for god's sake—

Wait a minute. Millie sat up and looked over at her closet. She had it. She still had it. With a burst of giddy anticipation, she climbed out of bed, quietly locked the bedroom door, and stepped into the closet. There she found the treasure she had nearly forgotten—Ben's sweat soaked t-shirt, stashed near the back as if she were afraid to get caught with it. It was mostly dry now, but it smelled more strongly of him than ever. Removing it from the hanger, she brought it to her face and inhaled deeply. Ben.

The scent was intoxicating; every blood vessel in her body seemed to swell and burn, full of fire. Ben. It was like a drug, overwhelming her senses, erasing the painful reality from her brain and allowing her to live, for just a moment, in a world rewritten by her desire, a world with a version of him that longed for her body as she did his.

She fell back onto the bed, eyes closed, heart pounding. Burying her face fully in the fabric, she drew another gasping, greedy breath into her lungs. Ben. She could almost feel his breath on her neck. In her mind, it was his hand that was tugging her waistband away from her hips, his fingers that were sliding purposefully, eagerly, between her thighs. So long as she was breathing him in, he was real; he was there with her, touching her, wanting her, taking her, Ben, her own personal version of him, tailor made for her pleasure. Together, they forgot the misery of her unrequited love.

For a little while, at least.