This isn't weird.

Next Time

There was a sort of magic about Eliza's little church that seemed to wash away the last of the awkwardness between Ben and Molly, and they spent the drive back in easy conversation. The biggest difference between her and her sister, he realized, was how quickly she could decide to trust a person. The walls that, on first impression, had seemed so impenetrable, came down more completely than Millie's ever had. She could speak openly about the darkest aspects of their past in a way that was casual, but not flippant, that neither invited pity, nor minimized the trauma of any of it. She had a way of imbuing her personal tragedies with a sense of hope and acceptance that made them surprisingly comfortable to discuss.

The subject of Caleb's unexpected visit was finally broached, after she opened up about the early pregnancy that had rushed her into a turbulent marriage, the periods of stability that always lulled her into believing things would be different, the son she'd lost to the state when he was just a toddler after Caleb's second relapse had culminated in a very public show of violence.

"I know Camilla thinks I didn't try to protect him, but I did," Molly said. "I wasn't like Mom. I wish she could see that. I took so many bruises for him. And that's why I gave up fightin' for custody. He's safe with his new family in a way he could never be with me. Say whatever else you want about him, Caleb Buckner always comes back. Always."

Molly tucked her hair back behind her ears, and for a moment, she looked more tired than Ben had ever seen her.  Then she sighed, and added, "Just like today. His new girlfriend miscarried, and they got evicted from our old house. Which coincidentally coincided with him realizin' he still loves me, and wants to make our marriage work."

"What did you tell him?" Ben asked.

"I said I'd think about it so he'd go away. But I don't have to think about it. If I took him back this time, Camilla would be done with me for good. He's taken so much away from me. I'm not gonna let him take away my only chance to have a sister again."

The subject Ben was most keen to hear about was their late brother, and the dynamic the three siblings had shared. "He loved me, but he never liked me," she said in a matter-of-factly way. "He was real young when Mom and Daddy met. Up until then, it had just been the two of them. She got pregnant right away, and all he really understood about any of it was that I was the thing that made Daddy a permanent part of their lives. He never really forgave me for that. But he was a little older when Cammy was born, and he just adored her from day one. He wanted to be her big brother. Like he always thought of me as his half-sister, but she was just his sister. Does that make any sense?"

"I think so," Ben said, astounded that she could talk about it without a trace of bitterness. He wondered how much it had truly impacted her to grow up so aware of the discrepancy in affection the men in her life had for the two of them, and whether or not Millie shared that awareness. "What about your mother?"

"I wouldn't say she had a favorite, but I was closest with her," Molly replied. "There was always a sort of gap between her and Camilla. I don't know why, but they could never relate to each other. And of course Daniel resented her so much for marryin' Daddy, and that only got worse as he grew up. But Mama and I, we understood each other."

"Why do you think Daniel..." Ben stopped midsentence, surprised that he would even think of asking such a personal question, but Molly filled in the blank without batting an eye.

"Killed himself?" she replied. "I'm sure there was a lot more to it than I'll ever know. Cammy always blamed our parents, but I think that's the story she needs to tell herself so she doesn't have to face how angry she is at him for doin' it. And I'm not stupid. I know the way they treated him was at least a part of it. But I don't think it was that black and white. I think he was sick in a way Camilla won't let herself see."

"Sick how?"

"He was always up and down," she explained. "He could get angry like you wouldn't believe in the blink of an eye. Some days he was all smiles and energy. He'd start talkin' faster and gettin' excited about everything, then he'd stop sleepin', sometimes for weeks at a time. And then it was like a switch would flip, and he'd be so tired and miserable you'd have to drag him out of bed to get him to school. Mom wanted him to see a doctor about it, but Daddy didn't want to spend the money. Said he was just bein' a teenager. Maybe if they'd done things different, Daniel might have turned out okay. But I'm not so sure as Cammy is."

There didn't seem to be much more to say about the topic, so she steered the conversation back into lighter territory, and they spent the rest of the drive comparing what it was like growing up in the city versus the country, and the experience of attending a highschool with a thousand students against one with dozens. He was shocked to hear that she'd never seen snow in real life, while she could hardly believe that he'd never held a gun (the former of which he was adamant should be rectified, the latter of which, he'd prefer not to change).

Ben would happily have stayed a few more hours to learn more, but he had already resolved that the following morning, he needed to get back to his life and his job, and he wanted to spend at least a little more time with Walt before he left Texas. When they said their goodbyes, Ben put his hands on Molly's shoulders and looked her very seriously in the eye.

"I'm going to find her," he said firmly. "Or maybe she'll find me. Either way, you're going to see your sister again. I promise. So keep working on that book. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, blinking back the telltale shine of tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"I'm so lucky I got to meet the two of you. You've both been so incredibly kind and generous to me. I can't thank you enough for today, and everything you've shared with me."

"It was fun," Shelby replied. "And! I got to meet Walt. We're going to make homemade bath bombs next weekend. Although, now that I think about it, I can't really imagine him fitting into a bathtub..."

"I'm glad you came," Molly said. "Even if you did show up to our first meeting 'hi already.'"

Ben grimaced. "Hey, at least we got a running joke out of the situation."

"Cammy would be so proud." Molly passed her cane to Shelby so she could hug him with both arms. "Ben, I'm really grateful for how happy you've made my sister. Even if there's been some hard times, I feel better knowing she's had someone like you in her life."

"I hope we get to see you again someday," Shelby said, holding Molly steady as she let him go and took a step back.

"You will. Of course you will," Ben assured them. "Next time I visit, it will be with Millie. And! ...Hopefully it will be about fifty degrees cooler."

"Plan ahead! It's a brief window," Shelby warned.

"And bring a sweater," Molly added. "One that won't make me embarrassed to be seen with you."

"Noted," he replied with a grin.