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"Now, I told you, the answer is no!" I watch André act out the scene in front of the class.
"But, dad!" Jade continues, the both of them squatting, "All my friends got cars for their sixteenth birthdays!"
"Lucky them..." I mumble under my breath, glancing at Beck who snickers at my comment.
"This conversation is over!" André states forcefully, waddling around the stage, away from Jade.
"Dad!" Jade calls after him, "Don't walk away from me! Daddy!"
Halfway through the scene, they both let out a sigh of defeat and turns to our teacher with a tired look. "Sikowitz..." "This is ridiculous." They tell him.
"Oh no, keep squatting!" Sikowitz waves them off encouragingly, "You're doing great."
"But it's hard to act and squat at the same time." André complains while still staying squatting.
"Hey, Sikowitz," Tori stops the discussion and calls our teacher, holding up a piece of paper, "what does the word "perilous" mean?"
"Perilous." Sikowitz repeats in thought, "Well, it sounds like "pear-less", which would mean you don't have any pears. Or any products from the PearStore, but that doesn't make sense." He rambles on, not noticing Jade and André who had stood up, "Because you have that... phone, you got all- Hey, squat!" He cuts himself off when he sees the two, snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor.
"Okay, you know what, forget it." Tori brushes Sikowitz off and goes back to reading her paper.
"Can I also squat?" Cat questions curiously.
"When it's your turn." Sikowitz snaps at her, shaking his head.
Rolling her eyes, Jade addresses him, "I don't understand why we have to do this scene like this."
"Ughh!" Sikowitz groans out and stands upright, "Look, there are many different types of theater. There's realism, there's expressionism, absurdism. And there's squatilism." He explains with various face expressions, walking closer to the stage.
"It's true." Robbie backs him up with his pearpad in hand, "It says right here, that squatilistic theater was originally performed by ancient Greeks, as a way of pleasing the mythical God, Squatros."
"You learn something new everyday." Trey shakes his head in bewilderment.
"Look, do you want us to squat or waddle?" André asks Sikowitz, "Pick one."
"You do both." Sikowitz stares them down, "It's called squaddling. All right! Let's take it from-"
Again, he is interrupted by Tori who is asking yet another question from her paper, "Hey, what does it mean if something is spangled?"
"Dang it, Tori, I only want to answer squad-related questions!" Sikowitz snaps at her impatiently.
"And don't you have a phone?" Chad raises an eyebrow at her, "You can look it up."
