The Guest | F. Darcy

Chapter 8: Adele's Letter

Dear Mr Darcy,

(for I do not know if you would still think of me as a friend after reading this)

You should think me so silly that I would write to you, and a letter so long, when you are so near to me. However, I am not so courageous. I truly that to pace the length of Charlotte's parlour before writing now. This letter will tell you a genuinely heartfelt confession and why I am so cold now.  

Fitzwilliam, I have known you for a very long time. We had been good friends for most period of our understanding and I had always found in you a companion I wished to be mine for a long time. Furthermore, I think, you should know that for the better part of our friendship, I have been unapologetically in love with you. I know you would never reciprocate (I saw the red chrysanthemum you hid from me that was for your fair lady). But I thought you should know. Nonetheless, and unfortunately so, this letter was initially not to confess my love for you. I always thought that my feelings would be buried with me in my grave. I planned never to tell you this. 

The next and the true aim of this letter is that I wanted to tell you that I am not that pure and innocent Adele that you knew, Fitzy. She died a long time ago. along with someone who was very closed to her heart.

You see, I had a twin. Her name was Adelina. We looked just the same, except for her dark blue eyes that she inherited from our maternal grandmother (while I got my paternal grandmother's eyes). But our disposition was as far from the same as it could be. She was the dreamer of us two, while I was the rational one. Our newly wedded Aunt and Uncle Gardiner decided that we should be groomed like the ladies of London because we were the eldest of the Bennet sisters. So at the age of 12, Adelina and I went with them and Lady Marshall (my aunt's sister) decided that she wanted to educate me herself.

For the first time, Adelina and I were separated and while she remained at Cheapside with our uncle and aunt, I came to Derbyshire with your dear neighbour. I was alone but I was happy because Lady Marshall loved me more than my mother ever did. Then, I met you there. All the while my sister was at Cheapside. But she never once complained, Fitzwilliam, and always wrote to me that she was happy. A few years after, when you and I were no longer friends, she met someone. She wrote letters and letters about how kind and handsome that man was, how much in love with him she already was when it had only been a month and how she wanted me to meet him. She was so much like Jane, you see. 

I was happy for her and looked forward to meeting the man that had captured my sister's heart so easily. We were to meet each other during the season and live in the Marshall Residence. Everything went downhill after that. 2 weeks into the season, I met the man and to my utter horror, it was Wickham. I was so shocked, Fitzwilliam, and so in disbelief. But in the end, my sister was so happy that I did not have the heart to intervene. She always said that he treated her good but I was cynical. And not so long after, I found out that she was with his child. I was horrified but I knew that even if it was too late, I had to confront him.

I did just that. I told him that my sister was pregnant and he casually said that he knew but he had no intention of marrying her. I knew then that I had made a mistake by thinking that the man could ever treat anyone right. But I was scared for my sister. I did not want her happiness to die. She was a dreamer, and I knew this will break her. So I begged him. I told him I would do anything. I shouldn't have, I regretted it a moment later when he took me up on the offer and asked for my chastity in return for him marrying my sister. I did not know what to do. I was only 17. But I did what I think would save my sister's happiness and complied. 

I gave him my virginity and enough money that I have saved to reach Gretna Green and get married. I was a fool. 

2 days later, a constable came to Lady Marshall's London house and told us that a dead body was found floating in the Serpentine. I froze and then I ran to my sister's room to see no one but a letter on her writing desk addressed to me. Wickham had told her that I had whored myself to him so that Adelina could run away with him. I told Lady Marshall everything I went with the constable but Lady Marshall never let me see my sister's body. She said that I deserved to remember Adelina's smile as the time I saw her and not a corpse with empty eyes. 

I disagree with her even now. I had been a horrible sister. I did not deserve to even know someone as pure as Adeline. 

You see now, Fitzwilliam, Wickham had fooled not just Georgiana but many other girls. The Blackguard knew she was my twin, she looked just like me so there was no way he couldn't have known, and he played with her life.

There is no way that you would see me in the same light as you did before, Fitzy, and by the time you get the letter, you wouldn't have to. I have written this letter way before I planned to give it to you and you must not have received it until the last day of your stay or mine. I would not disturb you any further. 

From Adele,

With Love