A Boy From Manning Heights ✔️

Chapter 33 | Jasper

After dinner Derek asks Beckett to go work out with the freshman and I take the opportunity to go for a run.

I run around the track and try to clear my head. Back in my room, when I told Beckett I wanted him to trust me. That was the truth, but it wasn't what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I love him and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

All this time even after realizing maybe it wasn't just a phase; I wasn't expecting much. I didn't know what I wanted, or maybe I did. I wanted Beckett, but love him? I thought I would have realized. Gave it some thought before almost telling him to his face.

I sigh and decide to head inside and take a shower. I love Beckett, that's not going to change and maybe when I think he feels the same I'll tell him.

I walk inside and past the gym pausing to watch. Beckett is smiling, talking animatedly to some of the boys, but every once in a while when he demonstrates a specific move his teeth clench and his body tenses. I look away, that's why I can't tell him yet. He doesn't trust me, not really. I know he went to his dads.

I'm alone in my room long enough to shower and throw on some sweatpants when someone knocks on my door. I know it's him and I open it slowly.

"Hey"

He gives me a small smile.

"Hey"

I pull the door open all the way allowing him to step in the room. He comes in and I close the door behind him turning and crossing my arms raising a brow.

He bites his lip.

"I just...I don't know"

We both know, because we're both feeling it. Even though he's here right in front of me I miss him. I miss how everything was before we went to his dads, before his father took back control. I step forward because my need to comfort him is stronger then the want to hold out until he trusts me.

I cup his face and run my thumb along his cheek slowly.

"Sleep here tonight?"

His eyes widen and I sigh stepping back away from him.

"Or don't"

He shakes his head and bites his lip.

"I want to, but...if we got caught"

I roll my eyes.

"We wouldn't get caught, trust me"

He looks pained when I say it, his eyes full of internal conflict.

"Jasper. I do trust you, but..."

I shake my head.

"But not enough"

He makes a sound that hurts to hear I almost want to tell him it's fine, but I don't. instead I'm surprised when he looks up and starts talking.

"The first time I thought my dad was scary I was five, he had called Jordan into his office, he was eight"

He shakes his head sadly.

"I just wanted to know if Jordan could come play again, and instead I found my father shouting at him. Inches from his face while Jordan cried and I ran away Jasper. I left him there"

The way he clenches his fists makes me hurt because I can see the guilt written on his face.

"It wasn't..."

He holds up his hand stopping me.

"Just let me talk okay? I trust you and I want you to believe me so I'm telling you...things no one knows"