Delena's Miracle

Chapter 20/ The new normal

It had been about 3 months since the whole incident.
For three months everything had been the same, it was the new normal for everyone.

Elena's POV

~Dear diary~

It's October 21st.
Me and Damon's anniversary.
The first of many anniversaries without him.

He left about three months ago, I'm guessing. I haven't been watching the time.
After all this time, this is the first time I've really talked or in this case wrote about how I'm doing, and him.

I haven't said more than three words to anyone since.
I haven't held my daughter.
Every day I hear her giggling, I know that she's grown so much.

But I can't see her, she looks to much like him, like Damon. She has his sparkling blue eyes and has strands of dark hair which seems to be getting darker and more raven.

I haven't even left our bedroom.

Caroline lives here now with Stefan.
They've become 24/7 babysitters and have honestly spent more time with Arabella than I have.

She tries to explain how Arabella is scooting around, nearly crawling. And how she makes noises and gurgles that sound more and more like words each day.

Sometimes I try to listen, but I can't. All I think about, is Damon.

That day replays in my head on a loop.
Katherine tearing his heart out and throwing it onto the floor like trash. My screams. The pain I felt. The pain I still feel. The depression I've fallen into.

Yet what hurts me most is knowing he wouldn't want me to be like this. He'd want me to move on, be happy and raise our daughter. But as much as I try for him and Arabella. I can't. It hurts to move, it hurts to talk, it hurts to do anything.

To escape my thoughts I try to sleep, but he's in every dream too. Never are they happy dreams, with me and him together, happily. They're always him in pain, being tortured or the day he died.

He's a part of me.
Now that part of me has been torn away.
But still isn't gone, the part of me that was him still lingers, in the most painful way possible.

I don't think he'll ever not be apart of me.
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Stefan's POV

Since that day at the grill.
Every day was the same.

Me and Caroline woke up, looked after Arabella and went to bed again at night. That just repeated.

Whilst we did that, Elena laid in bed either sleeping,staring into the darkness or crying.

We would try to open the curtains but if we did she'd just get more upset.

Bonnie,Jeremy,Alaric and Jenna spent most of their time trying to find a way to bring Damon back.

We tried to hold on to any hope we had.
But it wasn't looking so good.
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Elena's POV

It was the middle of the night.
I couldn't sleep.

Thoughts just pondered in my head.

Then I heard my daughter start crying.
The urge to go and hug her was so strong.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it and waited for either Stefan or Caroline to get her.

Minutes passed and she was still crying.
It just hurt to hear her.

So I did something I really didn't want to do.
I got up out of bed and left my room, something I hadn't done in months.