"Look at you, you're soaked! That is so lame! You're the one that wanted to do this" Phil laughed as he and Luke came running in through the door.
"What are you two doing?" Claire asked as she packed up the groceries.
"I picked up one of those Water Weasels. You hook it on the end of the hose and it flies around in the air" Phil explained to his wife.
"Just like a weasel?" Claire questioned.
"Yeah look how awesome. He's so wet!" Phil pointed out.
"I put the weasel in my pants" Luke said proudly.
"Wow, what an accomplishments" Jackie muttered sarcastically.
"He totally did" Phil exclaimed, ignoring Jackie's comment.
"Dorks" Alex muttered to her father and brother.
"Is there any reason why my window's wet" Haley asked as she walked into the kitchen.
"Very difficult to say. High five!" Phil snickered, before he suddenly grabbed his side in pain. "Ow"
"What's wrong?" Claire asked worriedly.
"A little... twinge" Phil began.
"Sweetie, you okay?" Claire asked worriedly.
"Yeah, yeah" He groaned, trying to hide the obvious pain he was in.
"I'll call 911" Jackie stated as she quickly made her way to the phone.
"Maybe the firemen will come" Alex giggled.
"No, no, no, no!" Phil exclaimed as he snatched the phone out of his eldest daughters reach. This causing him a lot of pain.
"Hey, not fair dad!" Jackie whined as she tried to reach for the phone.
"No!" Phil continued.
"Ugh, you guys never let me have fun" Jackie complained as she made her way out of the kitchen.
A few seconds later they heard a load bang and a halfhearted pained scream.
"You guys you need to call 911!" She yelled from the bottom of the steps where she had positioned herself so her little stunt would seem legit.
The books that Mr. Harrison had assigned had finally been good for something. They had worked charms to make it sound like there had been a human falling down the stairs.
"Jackie stop bluffing!" Claire called out from the kitchen.
"Worth a shot" Jackie shrugged to herself.
~
"What's going on, guys?" Alex asked as the three Dunphy sisters entered their parents room.
"It's nothing. Go back to bed." Phil tried.
"It's kinda hard to sleep when you hear the pained sounds you make every ten seconds" Jackie explained, trying to lay a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" Phil cried out.
"I bet it's just a kidney stone" Claire tried to reassure her kids.
"'Just,' again. Someone, get your mom a glass of water and a piece of gravel from the driveway and see how she likes it" Phil said, clearly offended by what he saw as Claire belittling his pain.
"Why is everybody yelling?" Luke asked as he came walking into the room.
"Somethings wrong with dad" Alex explained emphasizing the word 'wrong'.
YOU ARE READING
Jackie Dunphy
FanfictionJackie is the oldest of the Dunphy siblings. She has a pretty normal life. Or as normal as your life can be with an un normal family. The story based of the modern family series (and I don't own any of those characters) but with a new character: Jac...
