Just Another Monster {TWD/Carl Grimes FanFiction}

Chapter 9: Letting Go

"That was beautiful..."

I internally smile. "Thanks but what are you doing here?"

"Sorry to scare you, but I rang the doorbell to see how you were doing, and I didn't get an answer and the door was open so I walked in to see if anyone was home. Then I walked to the backyard to see if you where there and I heard you, and I didn't want to interrupt so I stayed quiet, until the floor creaked."

"Quite an answer." I laugh a little.

"Yeah." He chuckles. His smile is so wide and genuine. It's a great look on him.

Do I talk to him now? Am I ready to tell him what really was going on that morning?

Possible decisions race through my mind, all of them going a hundred miles per hour I'm different directions.

"Look I need to talk to you about..." I pause and fully decide to continue my sentence, "the kiss." He looks at me sincerely waiting for me to continue. "I'm sorry for going off on you yesterday, I just didn't think you would understand why I held back and pushed you away."

"No, I really should be the one apologizing. I got mad that you were being so secretive, because I thought we were... Well I don't know what we are now, but I'm sorry for being so nosey. If you didn't want to say it, I shouldn't have pushed you."

"I don't know what we are either, but the reason why I held back was because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I've built up high walls that you've seemed to crack, and I panicked. I'm kinda breaking all my rules now."

"What were your rules?" He laughs sarcastically lightening up the mood. He leans his arm on a column.

"Rule number one: don't get emotionally attached to anyone. Rule number two: don't let your emotions effect your goal. Ruler number three: don't trust anyone."

"Harsh rules."

"They helped me stay alive with Charlie all this time. Nothing got in the way."

"Wow..."

"What?"

"That's pretty... Emotionless."

"Like I said, it kept me alive..." This conversation brings me back to me and Charlie's worst moments. Moments when I argued with him all the time, and I was pressured to keep us alive.

I remember the worst moment ever. The time when Charlie and enough, and ran away. I freaked out and didn't know what to do. I was going crazy and blaming myself for what had happened. It was truly my worst moment. A few days later when I lost all hope I found him attempting to skin a rabbit. It felt like the whole world had been solved.

We made a pack that day. One, me to lay off him and treat him like an almost teen, and two, never run away from me again.

A long pause takes place while I'm realizing if I should even mention the last, and most important rule. "I didn't tell you one last rule that I gave myself."

"What is it?"

I sigh. "Rule number four: don't get involved with anyone." I look down and pause smiling and fiddling with my fingers. "Someone wise told me that I should take risks and that I can't live my life without love or passion... I think they might be right." I look deep into his beautiful blue eyes and so does he. "You're the last rule that I'm going to break." I gently put my guitar down and jump over to Carl, and he looks at me nervously as if I'm going to jump off a roof. He puts his hands out towards me, spotting me so that I don't fall. I wrap my arms around his neck and look deeply into his eyes. He looks at me shocked, and on the edge of his toes.