16th May, 2022
I had a better day yesterday. Things went quite well. And I was laughing for a change.
But after some time, the feeling felt very foreign to me. It did not set quite right with me. I felt disturbed and I felt different. In a sense, uncomfortable.
And when this feeling slowly dies away, I am anxious with some other distant thoughts. And again I want to go back to giving up.
I cannot bring myself to do things, I am just lost in some blank thoughts. You know what I mean? Actually there is no thoughts, but I am thinking. I know it sounds creepy but trust me when I am thinking my mind is blank.
So I clicked out of my "thoughts" and decided to just go on surviving. Survive now so that I can live later.
Mental illness is so much worse because you want it to end. But you feel foreign without it. But somehow you want to release yourself from it and feel how it feels like to live and not think of death.
No matter how ugly I feel, I come here to write, to inspire and to encourage people in any little way that is possible. I feel if someone reads my story then he/ she won't feel so alone. Because I know what feeling alone with these thoughts feel like. No one understands me and I have no one to talk to or reach out to. Because I know if I do, they won't comprehend the way I want them too. In brief, I won't be comforted at the end of the day.
So write in short, maybe a line or two. Tell me how you feel, what you do, how you go on. I want to know your stories and I am ever ready to read you.
I am lonely in this foreign world, help me out. Help those people who are reading this as well as your stories. Let's hold hands, let's help each other out.
YOU ARE READING
LIVING to DIE
SaggisticaA journal 💫 💌 No one talks about the period when they hit the rock bottom. But I am here. I want my story to be a survival guideline for people who are lonely. I am lonely too. 🫂 So talk about your stories in the comments. Engage yourself. Let's...
