21st May, 2022
Things are getting better but why do I still tell myself it would be so nice if I was dead.
I think I know why I am feeling this way. It's because no one is there to listen to my stories. No one is there to hear me talk. No one is to read me clearly. No one is there to heal me.
I have been healing alone. And it makes the journey so much more difficult. It's so easy to think of quitting. It is so easy to just want to die.
Like I have so many things in my life that I am grateful for, I have so many blessings. This makes me guilty that I am not appreciating my life enough. You'll find me asking God for forgiveness for this very reason.
I hurt none and I always try to walk down the "good" path. So I have no fear of being punished. I fear karma, I fear God, so I make sure am always in their good books. Life already has given me a lot of anxiety, even when am not at fault, I don't want to deal with further detentions. I do ask forgiveness from God if unintentionally I have switched my lane. Mostly I ask forgiveness because all I want is to be dead when I have quite a lot of reasons to stay alive.
YOU ARE READING
LIVING to DIE
Non-FictionA journal 💫 💌 No one talks about the period when they hit the rock bottom. But I am here. I want my story to be a survival guideline for people who are lonely. I am lonely too. 🫂 So talk about your stories in the comments. Engage yourself. Let's...
