𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕌𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕆𝕟𝕖 -☆- 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐨 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐢

𝕀 (𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥) 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦

✴

"That's one cigarette too many Ritsuko. The whole damn box is nearly finished," Misato pointed as she closed my lighter and slumped down onto the bar.

Huffing out the cloud of smoke, I looked down to the ashtray filled with buds. If my job didn't pay so well, I would have quit smoking and entered rehab at the first sign of any tobacco craving, but there's too much to leave behind in Tokyo-2. Besides, it felt nice to drink with someone from time to time.

"You're right. Maybe it's time to quit smoking, " I groaned as I put out my lit cigarette into the full tray. "As soon as you quit drinking all that cheap beer," I snickered.

"WHAT?! I'll have you know that it's that same cheap crap that you introduced me to back in college."

"Well, if I had known you would become an alcoholic, then I would have bought you wine instead."

"You know that's way above my paygrade at the moment."

The two of us chuckled. There we were, a pair of nearly 30 year old women, smoking and drinking ourselves away to the sound of our favorite jazz bar.

Misato began to hiccup, a sure sign that tomorrow's hangover was going to sting.

"Drunkards like you need to go home. Come on," I said as he hoisted the purple head by the shoulders as maximum resistance was pushed against me.

"Noooo," she whined. "I need to get one more glass in me," she said as she signaled the bartender in our direction.

I waved him off as he playfully rolled his eyes to our work night comedy routine.

"It's on your tab, ma'am," he announced.

"What?"

"Thanks for the drinks, Ritsuko!" Misato gave me a drooling kiss on the cheek. "I knew I could count on you."

"Ugh, now I reek of you."

After stumbling around in the car park, we finally managed to get to the damn old blue Renault that miraculously runs despite Misato's reckless driving. I reached into the pocket of her red jacket in search of the car keys.

"Woo-hoo! We are going joyriding tonight! " the drunkard said as she snatched the key from my hand and staggered into the driver's seat.

"Let's not. Don't forget we have that UN general assembly that I have to attend, alive," I warned.

As I lunged for the keys from behind, she dodged my assault, forcing my body onto the passenger seat. Before I could even readjust myself to an upright position, the driver door shut, and the engine roared. She laughed her head off as I screamed at every swerve that threatened to tip the car onto its side. My stomach, in particular, did not enjoy the motion sickness-inducing driving.

"Misato, slow down!"

"Not a chance, baby. I'm taking you home tonight. Besides, it's my fault you missed the last train," she said as she applied more force onto the gas pedal.

The city lights looked like bright streaks scarring the night sky. It felt blue to be staring out the window away from my worries. I closed my eyes and wandered into my thoughts of what happened today at HQ. How I stood there in front of the hospital door and glared at the name tag in internal disgust. Upon entering the room, I saw her eyes wide open, staring at the white ceiling as she lay still on the bed like a lifeless doll.

"Rei?" I called out.

She blinked herself to reality and turned her eyeballs towards me.

"Hello, Dr.Akagi," her soft dull voice echoed, never showing any emotion.

I put on a meek smile, the same one I always gave to the pale skinned girl.

"Hello Rei. How are you feeling today?" I asked, knowing that the answer would be the same dreary response.

"I'm fine. I'll be able to return to my piloting duties and proceed with the next activation test."

Cold sweat dripped down my neck at that remark. I never want to relive the grotesque scene of the Eva Unit going berserk as its monstrous scream fills my ears. Watching on as Commander Ikari remained unyielding in the face of death, the face of one of humanity's greatest sins. I clenched my clipboard.

"I'm sure next time you will perform better," I noted as I turned tail and headed for the door, wanting to avoid any more contact than necessary. It was that moment that I wished I had walked out without stopping to hear her weakly mumble that imprinted itself onto my heart.

"I have to, for the Commander. I should not fail, or else he'll throw me away, just like he did to the doctor."

I rummaged through my purse for a cigarette. Before I could put it between my lips, Misato's hand slapped it onto the leather floorboard.

"Aren't you supposed to keep both hands on the wheels?" I grumbled.

"Well, aren't you supposed to be having fun away from work?" she retorted.

The silence spoke for itself as I sighed.

"Come on, Ritsuko, you aren't the most humble person on this planet, but even you need to open up. I can't watch you lock yourself into your mind like this."

"You know I can't say anything -"

"-because it's for my eyes only. I get it," she interrupted. "I haven't been at NERV as long as you have yet. I've been around you the longest to know that your feelings don't have to be a classified secret. Talk to me, Ritsuko. Even if you don't want to."

I rested my chin on my palm as I stared back out the window.

"Ritsuko," Misato whispered. "Why won't you just tell me the truth?"

"Just drive."

I could tell she was biting her lip. She was probably holding back on an insult or two. It's always been like this. I sneak a glance of her face through the rear-view mirror. She was practically on the verge of crashing the car with how straight-laced she looked. We finally arrived at my apartment complex in the dead air. Just after I waved a small goodbye to her, she honked her horn and stuck her head out of the driver's window.

"Hey! You left something," she yelled as she threw my lighter onto the gravel at my feet.

Before I could muster a 'thank you', she sped off.

"You should have kept it. Not that it would make any difference."

As the door to my one bedroom apartment closed, I slid down against it as the tears ruined my mascara. If I had known any better when I first asked her to hang out, I should have bought her the most expensive wine box instead.