And then He Bled

His Butler, Dying in His Master's Arms

"Se-Sebastian, please, don't leave me here, alone." Ciel whimpered as he clasped Sebastian's hand tightly.

"Darling, I love you." Sebastian managed to sputter out as blood filled his mouth, four days had passed, and, now, he lie dead in his master's arms.

"Sebastian?!" Ciel exclaimed desperately. "Sebastian?!"

Sebastian's eyes were no longer filled with light, they were cold and hollow, he was truly dead. Everything had led up to this, it was meant to be like this for them, but they couldn't see it - their love had blinded them.

"I should have let you take my soul..." Ciel whispered near Sebastian's ear.

Ciel could imagine Sebastian talking to him, telling him comforting words that he needed to hear, however, Sebastian wasn't there anymore - he was stone cold, he was dead. Ciel knew there was nothing that could be done to bring him back. NOTHING - the very word echoed in his mind for what seemed an eternity before his vision was blurred by tears once more.

"Sebastian, I-I'm so sorry. I will love you forever, until the end of time and beyond because that is how strong my love for you is. Sebastian, I hope we can meet again soon, maybe in the next life, where eternity could be ours, together. Oh, what am I saying? You are dead, and, soon, I will be dead too! Does reincarnation even exist? I miss how you were able to give me advice, or sneak up behind me and embrace me, or how I could admire you from afar; Sebastian, please, if you hear me, come back to me!" Ciel exclaimed, burying his face in his dead butler's chest, the tears from his eyes soaking the white dress shirt that the other male wore.

Ciel breathed in his butler's scent, there was nothing he could do to get him back again - the love of his life was gone, he was alone. Ciel felt his world collapse on top of him as Sebastian's familiar smirk flashed in his mind. He was alone, again, Sebastian had been taken away like everything else in his life that mattered. What is the point in living? Everything I love is taken away, everything that makes me happy flies away on wings of dust and ashes, why is this for me? I wanted to be a happy boy, and I was with Sebastian, so, why? Tell me why, fate, that you had to come and tear us apart?! I-I want out of my head! Please, someone let me out!

Ciel clutched the sides of his head as a wave of pain overtook him. What is there for me? Ciel's mental strength was collapsing as memories of Sebastian flooded his mind, causing another devastating wave of pain to hit. He suddenly remembered that time where they were in the rose garden without the other servants, and Ciel replayed the events of that day in his head as though it had just happened yesterday.

We both sat on the bench, I was blushing like crazy because I just told him that I-I loved him, and he was staring at me with his trademark smirk before cupping my chin. He wasn't wearing his gloves at the moment, and his hands were so soft and they felt amazing to touch - I wanted him to keep his hand there, forever. Maybe we could have been etched in time there, like a statue, dedicated to our memory, but he did something even better - he kept his hand on my chin and kissed my lips, it was a soft but yearning kiss. Soon, I found myself kissing back, and then we both pulled away to breathe, of course, he didn't need to breathe, but I did because he had just made me absolutely breathless. And then we started to talk about several different things, but I remember one thing he said clearly.

"Ciel, promise me one thing. If I ever die, promise to never kill yourself, hurt yourself, or lose your luster." He said softly, his eyes gazing softly, but sadly, into mine.

"Of course I promise because you're never going to die, silly!" I stuck my tongue out at him and proceeded to pout, he then wrapped his arms around me and chuckled.

"I shall not." He whispered near my ear with a hint of sadness.

It was now that Ciel understood why Sebastian had said those things - he knew beforehand that he was going to die and he didn't want Ciel to hurt himself because he truly loved him. A tear fell from his right eye, he was happy that Sebastian loved him deeply enough to make him promise months before his death that he wouldn't do anything to hurt himself, but, now, everything was different - Ciel could feel a dark cloud covering his mind, it seemed to grow darker, more malevolent with every thought, but what could he do? Sure, he could try to go outside, but he would be reminded of Sebastian; he could read a book, but Sebastian used to read to him every once in awhile; he could sleep, but he was afraid that he would see Sebastian in his dreams and have him ripped away again; he was just too scared and depressed to do anything besides look at his dead lover's face.

I-I know I promised you, b-but I'm growing weaker every second. Sebastian, please, forgive me if I go through with this. Ciel thought in a prayer to his lover, which is something he never did, but he wanted to try it and see if Sebastian would bestow forgiveness upon him for what he was about to do next. Ciel stood up and walked into Sebastian's bathroom, Ciel wasn't allowed to have razors because he hurt himself, but Sebastian had some; Ciel grabbed a razor from underneath the sink and felt tears sting his eyes. Sebastian, this is for you, and all the memories we never had together.

Ciel put the razor against one of his wrists and cut the vein, he did the same for the other, soon, he drifted out of consciousness and into absolute darkness - he was now dead, or so he thought. He later woke up to find himself laying on the floor of Sebastian's bathroom in a pool of blood, it hurt to move his wrists for some reason, and he glanced down to notice that the veins were slit. He gasped in horror and immediately attempted to cover up the wounds with some bandages he found. He then laid down on the bed next to Sebastian's corpse and hugged it tightly.

"I missed you, Sebastian." Ciel said with a smile.