Love or Friendship? (HELLUVA BOSS FANFICTION)

Chapter 9: Crashing a Wedding

(WRITTEN: 04/06/22)

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(WEDDING)

Willy Wackford: We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Andrealphus the 54th and Stolas of the Are Goetia. Andrealphus the 54th do you hereby take Stolas of the Are Goetia to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Andre: I do~

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(STOLAS' POV)

Where the fuck is my Blitzy? I want him to be my night in shining armour! I- I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO GET MARRIED TO ANDRE IF BLITZY DOESN'T SAVE ME!

W-where's Stella? I thought she was meant to be my best man...

Okay. I'm going to be my own night in shining armour. Or at least pretend to be until Blitzy gets here. I'll stall...

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(WEDDING)

Willy Wackford: STOLAS?!

Stolas: W-what? Sorry?

Willy Wackford: I said, Stolas of the Are Goetia do you take Andrealphus the 54th to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Stolas: S-sorry I'm a tad deaf today... please repeat that one more time.

Willy Wackford: Do you take-

Stolas: SORRY DEAR! Can you speak up?

Willy Wackford: Stolas, do you take Andre-

Stolas: S-sorry I can't hear over all that HUMAN MUSIC...

Andre: WHAT HUMAN MUSIC?!

Loona: THIS HUMAN MUSIC, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

They look over to where the drunk hellhound pointed to see Lenny lifting Octavia up onto the stage behind Andre, Willy and Stolas. Octavia gets up onto the stage and pulls the short and partially squashed Lenny onto the stage. Octavia plugs a cable into a massive demon speaker.

Demon speaker: WE WILL! WE WILL! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! WE WILL! WE WILL! FUCK YOU!

Lenny: HUMAN MUSIC REMIX~

All the demons cover their ears because the music is blasting out loud music. Some guards eventually chase Octavia and Lenny off the stage and unplug the music. A slightly shaken Willy Wackford proceeds speaking after receiving a terrifying look from Andre.

Willy Wackford: S-stolas, d-do you take-

Blitzo, Millie, Moxxie and Stella burst into the room with blood covered faces. Knives and guns in their hands.

Blitzo: STOP THIS FUCKING WEDDING YOU FUCKING BITCHES!!!

Stella: No one marries my best friend unless he wants to fucking marry them!!!

Moxxie: Y-yeah.

Millie: HELL YEAH!

Octavia: YEAH NO ONE MARRIES MY DAD UNLESS HE WANTS TO MARRY THEM!

Lenny: YEAH! AND MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND WANTS TO MARRY HIM AND HE WANTS TO MARRY MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND!

The crowd gasps.

Stolas: I- I... YEAH. I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU ANDRE! YOU MOTHER FUCKING OBSESSIVE PEICE OF SHIT!!!

The crowd gasps loud. Blitzo walks over to Stolas.