After The Lies

Prologue

There will always be that one person that we hate, basically, because we can't have him or her.

I started to like this boy through my close friend. She had told me how she knew him and how famous he was, and I am that simple girl that has wavy dry hair, lips that are always dry, fair skin that makes me look like a white lady, and of course, I am one of so many introverts in this world. Back to this boy, I stalked him and I don't know why I did that, but maybe because it was meant to happen for me to like him by just looking at his pictures.

I didn't know what I was feeling, but it sure was scary for me. The first time I met him in front of our classroom, he was late, but who cares? He was tall and handsome as hell. How could someone be so perfect? I mean, he's almost perfect. He knew how to sing, play the guitar, beatbox, and dance. While I am that simple girl who isn't good at singing and dancing, I am not even intelligent! I don't also have talent. Let me cry, please.

I was scared of my feelings. I did not show them and I did not accept them. How can someone like him like me? And more importantly, he likes my friend! Can I just laugh this feeling off? because it's weird. But you know what's weirder? He keeps glancing at me! I always catch him looking at me. Or is it just me? Or was it me who kept on looking at him and he caught me?! That may be! Because if he likes me, why can't we be just like him and my friend? Why can't he talk to me? Am I intimidating? I'm just ugly in his eyes. And why would he like someone who's as shy as me? No one even likes talking to me.

We graduated from high school. I thought I would never see him again, but I saw him! I saw him at every unexpected moment, and I always lost my confidence. My cousin told me I might love him. I was scared. I can't love him! But eventually, I accepted that I love him and that he will always be that person for whom my feelings overflow whenever I see him. I cried a lot at night. Sometimes he was the reason.

I can't explain how I felt when I learned he had a girlfriend. I was totally out of breath, but I did not cry that day. I thought I had moved on or like my feelings for him changed and I no longer liked him, but I was so wrong because I never loved anyone else but him. And when I returned from the States at the age of 28, I met him, and I know better than anyone that I still love him, and I believe the only way to stop loving him so that I can find and love someone else is to confess.

On that day, I gathered all my courage just to tell him I loved him for so long and he replied...

EsPeyn（◞‸◟）