Y/ɴ x ᴩᴏɴyʙᴏy ᴄᴜʀᴛɪꜱ, ʟᴏɴᴇꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ

Chapter Six: Ponyboy?

Pony had visited me, more than I think he wanted me to know. Sometimes I felt him staring at me while I was sleeping, but I didn't care. I felt numb. My best friend was gone. He really was. When I looked at his body, it was weird to think that I even knew him. It was weird to think that he loved me, and that I loved him. But I knew that the body laying on that stretcher wasn't Johnny no more. It was just a corpse. 

I was off my respirator now, but Soda wouldn't let me join the rumble. He said it was too dangerous after the paper was published. Although I was pretty good at staying under the radar, the Socs still knew who I was. 

"Damnit Pony, your brothers' a real ass." I chuckled, as I sat down at the Curtis' dining table. Johnny was still a soar subject, and Pony and I hadn't talked since the hospital. 

"Pony, thank you for savin' Johnny in the fire. I'm not sure if he said s'hm, but I know it meant a hell of a lot to 'im." Pony gave me a weak smile, and swirled his toast in some sort of sauce.

"I didn't save Johnny." He muttered quietly, barely making eye contact. 

"What?"

Ponyboy remained silent as he played with his fork. "Ponyboy?"

"We can talk about it later." He croaked. I was tired of being told 'later'. It was happening too much, and I couldn't take it anymore. I sped down the street to the lot where Johnny and I would always talk and spill secrets. The sun was fully down, and I could barely see anything. There were droplets of water falling from the sky, signaling that it was about to rain. The sidewalk was slippery as I walked, and I kept catching myself before I tripped. By now, the rain was falling, hard. I couldn't walk any further without being able to slip. So I sat against a fence and began to sob. 

Johnny was only a boy, he was only sixteen. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he loved me in a way that I could never reciprocate. And it wasn't fair that he had to watch me fall in love with Ponyboy. His life wasn't fair to him at all.

Pony showed up a couple of seconds later, he was surprisingly- crying too. He sat next to me, and we cried together. I laid his head on my shoulder and stroked his hair. This is what I wanted. I wanted Ponyboy, I wanted him to love me, which made me sniffle even more. 

While the surrounding world thundered, Ponyboy hiccuped. I turned towards him, his eyes standing out in the orange glow from the house behind us. I stared at him and he stared at me. My body slowly crept towards his face, so I broke the eye contact for my sake.

"Pony," I started, trying to talk over the rain. 

"No, it's alright, I know what you're gonna say," He interrupted, looking at the ground. "I'm glad we're friends." 

"OH MY GOD PONYBOY," I yelled, standing up and facing him. He was confused, but I had reached my breaking point. 

"Wha-?"

"I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to be just friends. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss ya so bad. I want to kiss ya till I have no air, and I pass out. I want to kiss ya and your annoying, beautiful green eyes.  And ya need to know. Ya need to know because I don't have the fucking balls anytime else. When I'm around you, I feel so confident, and you make me a better person. And you're always there. It's constant, and I can't stop. I want you Pony, but I can't have you, I can't." 

He stood up, his wet hair falling in his face.

"I can't have you because of Dally, and fucking Cherry Whatever-her-last name-is. Dally will kick my ass to the curb, Pony. You know that?" I ranted, feeling like I was going insane. His face was a unique expression, like realization and comprehension at the same time. 

"And Cherry, oh Cherry. ChErRy AnD hEr bEaUtIfUl HaIr, Cherry, the PrEtTiEsT gIrL yOu EvEr sAw." I said, mocking the way that Dally, Johnny, and Pony talked about her. "Cherry is the most shallow girl I ever seen, Pony. Her only personality trait is that she has red hair. AND THAT AIN'T EVEN A PERSONALITY TRAIT. If Cherry ever-" 

Pony quickly pressed his lips against mine, and my body instantly relaxed. He let go of me excitedly, brushes his hair back, and gave me the widest smile I'd ever seen. 

"I never liked Cherry. I never did. And it ain't me who saved Johnny, it was Dallas. I ran into that burnin' building and carried you out. I walked right past Johnny. I did. Dally ran in after he saw that I was carrying you instead of Johnny. Y/n, I don't care if you want to be a boy or a girl. I don't care if Dallas beats my ass, or kills my entire family. Darry will kill him before he gets to ya. I think about you constantly, when I grease my hair, when I eat breakfast, when I fall asleep at night, and oh god when I'm in Dallas' car. And I get so jealous at the way Johnny looks at ya. I want to slap him. He's practically my brother, y/n! I wanna slap my own brother! " he smiled, our faces only inches apart, dripping with rainwater. I slowly pushed him onto the wet ground and placed myself in the same position that we were in on the hill. And then I kissed him. Kissing him like I'd wanted to for the longest time. I pulled his head into my forearms, serving as a cusion, and kissed him deeper. He held my hips and did the same. 

There was a faint whistling behind us, and we both spun around. The whole gang was standing in the rain, watching us. Darry laughing, Two-Bit whistling, Steve cheering, and Soda slow clapping with a smile on his face.