Coulda been

Don't cry

Id been sneaking out a lot since my visit to the dermatologist and I'd barely seen Kyrie except those run ins at the cafeteria and the weird stares he'd give me from across the field.
Hakeem had been coming to my class a lot,to make sure I was eating and taking my meds on time. "Hakeem!"I'd whine and he'd snort, placing two tablets in my hand before nodding at me to go ahead and down them.
On this particular day,he'd been walking me to the school gate after school. He seemed troubled,like he had a lot on his mind and couldn't really hold it in there for much longer. "Promise me you won't do anything about this,okay?"
I stared,long and hard then gestured with my hand for him to go on and tell me.
"You know I'd support you even if you did something wrong,right? I'd even hide a dead body for you. Remember that bird from preschool when-"
He smacked his finger onto my lip so hard I bit down on my tongue.
"Hakeem!" I smacked him on the back of his head and he laughed,stopping abruptly when he caught me staring at him motherfuckerly.
"Sorry,sorry I'm not laughing. Anyway,back to the topic.
My dad... He kicked me out."
"Alright,what did you do?"He looked down,then back up to my eyes and shrugged.
"Not much. I woke up really late along the week and didn't do my bed before I left... In my defense,it was really late and the man wasn't supposed to be home till 5pm that day!
Besides,I would've done the bed when I came back,you know this." He pointed at me for emphasis,then started waving his hands around again.
"He's an unreasonable old bastard that's what he is!I found my blankets on the porch when I came back."I grinned up at him,"you know he technically didn't kick you out right?"
"He put my blankets out thinking I'd come into the house and beg him to let me sleep in my room.Im not doing that! As long as he lets me sleep and bathe in the house,then I'm all good! I don't need an alcoholic father to-" now it was my turn to smack my palm  across his lips.
"Hey!you're not tryna let the whole world know he kicked you out! Calm down,I'm not fighting with you."
He nodded,biting at my palm so I could move it.
"Where are you sleeping?"
"In the garage, on top of two blankets...and under two blankets." His voice trailed off as he took in the scowl I had on my face.
"I can't believe you're doing that to yourself,you know you've got athritis! What? You want the cold to enter your bones and send you to an early grave?!
You have a damn choice and death is what you're choosing?! You better take that stick out of your ass and go apologize!I don't care how unreasonable he's being,you should be the bigger person and apologize.
Apologize even if you aren't wrong,you've only got ten months to go before you move out and go to college,or Uni. Can't you just suck it up and tolerate the man?" He seemed to think about it for a second,then he shrugged it off and mumbled begrudgingly,"I'm not doing that you very sensible person whom I have no business knowing because I'm sure as hell not doing what you just said to do."
Hakeem had always been like that,he added unnecessary words to a sentence when he lost an argument and had the last word-but this wasn't it. Something was bothering him,he looked almost green as he looked around,memorising every bit of the office we were sitting behind. He was looking everywhere but my eyes.
"Hakeem?"
"Let's go Mel,you'll miss the bus."
"You're walking me there?"
"Uh yeah,I just decided to..as your brother who'll always protect you,and would beat any nigga for you."
I just nodded,holding onto the strap of his bag while he held the umbrella up for me.
After a while of walking in awkward silence,I finally gave up and stopped abruptly, waving my finger in his face,"got something to say to me?"
He nodded,then shook his head and sidestepped me to keep walking.
"I'll just sit here,in the middle of the sidewalk until you tell me what the hell is going on"
He grabbed my arm before I could plop myself down,and held me still before looking deeply into my eyes like he was searching for something.
"Nothing is going on...I just think you should ask that Kyrie of yours where his loyalties lie."
"What do you know?" He shrugged, seemingly done with the conversation and it took everything in me not to grab him by the hair and make him tell me what the hell he meant.  Deep down,I knew what he meant by that and the reel on Kyrie's insta came and smacked me in the face.
Kyrie had posted a video of some girl with her thighs in a guys lap while the guy ate. he'd captioned it *favorite couple* and I'd convinced myself it was a video of his friend. I was Kyrie's girl,and he was MY man.no hoes could change that. The hands were his, I knew cause he was the only guy I knew with a goat skin bracelet and those veiny hands,even that black ring he had on his middle finger-only he had that ring.only him
"Hakeem bruh,just tell me..."
"You're gonna overreact." I stared at him in disbelief,scoffing.
I never overreact,I mean sure mini me in my mind was chasing Kyrie around with that large kitchen knife my momma kept with her when my dad wasn't in the house,but I never overreacted about shit!
"Listen,you just gotta tell me what you heard and I'll head on home and pretend ion know shit" I said with shaky hands, balling my hands into fists beside me and praying to God no one saw me like this.
"See?you're already overreacting." I glared at him,hard. So hard that if eyes could shoot daggers,he'd be a see through vest right now.
"It's just... Kevin...you know Kevin?the large guy from my class? Yeah he was asking if Kyrie had a girlfriend and Kyrie told him his girlfriend didn't go to our school...she didn't even live around here."
My heart hammered loudly in my chest,my lunch making its way back up my throat while I fought to hold my tears down.
I suddenly couldn't see straight,two Hakeems standing Infront of me,holding my shoulders gently trying to get me to get on my knees and breathe.
"Hey whoah wait Mel,wait,just breathe. Breathe baby, breathe. I got you, okay?" I nodded,all my fears clouding my mind and crippling me.
"Hey man,the hell did you do to her?is she okay?"
"Get away from her!"

I could hear Kyrie speaking,but he sounded dista

nt and the hands that had been on my shoulders had been removed and I heard them both shouting some stuff at each other.
I opened my eyes,surprised to suddenly be feeling cold when it was over 30°C. I got up,pulling Hakeem's hands off of Kyrie and looking at him, silently pleading with him to let me handle this.
He stormed off in the direction of the school,leaving me to face Kyrie alone.
I gestured for him to hold my bag for me while I took out my anxiety and motion sickness pills,dry swallowing them with a grimace. I wanted something to get my mind off him.
"What are those for?" He asked,false intrigue on his face as he reached out to hold my hand.
I flinched,folding my arms over my chest and looking at him from head to toe before answering calmly. "Motion sickness... and anxiety." He nodded,then said "y'all's bodies are scrap."
I felt offended when he said this,like it should matter what he thinks when he's clearly cheating on me-or with me...I really didn't know,no lies.
He seemed to notice my change in demeanor because he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. It felt good-and I felt bad for thinking that way."I like you anyway though,even if your immune system is weak."
I fought off a scoff and smiled,thinking to myself-how talented an actor he must be to act like nothing's wrong between us. Like he didn't kiss me then use those very lips to tell another how much he loved her. God gifted innocent faces always belonged to hoes,how unfortunate.
When we got to the bus stop,he grabbed my hand and turned me to face him,"what was happening with Hakeem back there? Why didn't he want me to touch you?"
"If this ain't bout a bitch,why the fuck do you care?"
I shoved my middle finger into his forehead,then walked into the bus without looking back because if I did,I'd breakdown right there,Infront of everybody.