Coulda been

17| his therapist

At this point,I didn't care much about school-or life really.
I was high most days,and on sober days I had an unbearable migraine-and I'd end up getting stoned again. Shit was giving IRRELEVANT

A knock on the door startled me back into reality,and I opened it to find Kyrie with red swollen eyes and a bottle of Henny in his hand-fresh tears formed in his eyes at the sight of me,his body stumbling into the room to sit on the couch...
"Hey lil' mama" he slurred,his hands pushing his twists from his forehead as he stared at me in grief. I sat beside him,cross legged and fumbling with my fingers,"Hi...are you-are you okay?" He took a swig from the bottle,then put it on the coffee table,shaking his head lightly.

I nodded,he moved to lay on top of me and I opened my thighs so he could rest his head on my stomach and wrap his arms around my waist-well fuck,I ain't had his arms around my waist since our first kiss and God did it feel good.his arms were thick enough to cover the skin that showed beneath my crop top and I shivered from the warmth it provided me.
"You gon tell me wassup or you just gon keep drinking till I have to drag yo ass home?" He pulled me so tight to him I felt his head sink into the skin below my ribcage,and his scream vibrating against me.

I'd never heard a man scream before,or seen em cry and it was horrible- he couldn't stop shaking,his eyes shut close with reddened cheeks becoming wet again,"make it stop!!make it stop!the voices... Mel kubhlungu,it hurts! I can't even breathe! I don't wanna be alive right now!" He sniffed,rubbing his face against my top and breaking into a loud cough...
"My relationships never work out cause I don't communicate well- she's tired of me,she's tired of the late night talks and having to wipe my tears every single time I fuck up- she's tired of hurting...I broke her...I finally broke her a-and it hurts so much I'm suffocating...I love her,have I told you that? That I love her?"
My fingers trembled as I ran them through his hair,the sharp knife in my heart that I'd grown farmiliar with being consumed fully-
It's funny,I thought I'd poke my eyes out if he ever spoke about her,yet all I felt then-when he cried in my lap and told me he loved her-was sadness,not heartbreak,not unbearable agony not even pain- sadness.

I felt sad, because this beautiful boy with eyes like chocolate and a smile that cured crack addicts was broken inside,and I hadn't known until then-
I ignored the fact that he was crying for another girl,for whom he bought flowers and cupcakes and unicorns and rainbows-a girl he'd burn in hell for.

"No...no you haven't told me that you love her-"
"Well I do,mama! She's fly...it's always giving gang gang with her. Her smile,the way her eyelashes sweep her cheeks when she laughs,her body...lil mama,I like the way her milky thighs wrap around my waist and she whispers sweet nothings in my ear-her blue eyes...Mel she has blue eyes,and everytime I look up at the sky I see her.she buys me food,and takes me on dates- she's perfect y'know?
I wanted to wife her bro,watch her walking down the isle and thank God for letting this angel fall for me...I-"

He started crying again,and my head pounded with an oncoming headache-demanding I hit a blunt to let go of the stress that came with seeing him cry over his girl.
"You still have me though..."
"I-it ain't the same mama!" I left it at that, opting instead to start biting at the skin around my nails till it bled.

After I served him lunch and thankfully got him to leave his chrome hearts hoodie on the couch,we left the house to go sit in the car, my dad's car that I was finally accepting Kyrie would never give back. "I'm pretty sure she loves you,I mean why else would she stick witchu?you ain't allat,yo ass don't even got a full front tooth"I reasoned, slightly relaxing when he breathed out a chuckle,"shut the fuck up."
I pulled the small plastic pocket out of my bra,and started picking the seeds out of the green shrub of happiness in my hands.
"Okay but seriously,you say you love her right? Then you'a have to fight fa her.
No girl wants her nigga to leave her alone when she mad,she want you to talk to her, don't let her sleep angry and don't pass her limits when you spittin facts...like uhhhm me,if you said sumn about my skin or my hair- I would burn your fuckin hair off and never talk to you again,cause that's something I'm struggling with...so don't use her insecurities against ha.
And God,stop entertainin hoes, having hoes ain't cool no mo bruh...word" I took a deep pull from the fat blunt,blowing the smoke in his face as he stared in awe,
"Mama...you smoke?"
"Si, lo siento- you mind?"
"Nah nah mack...I'm just-surprised is all. So you really think she'd take me back?" I blew in his face again,moving to straddle him and pull him closer by wrapping my hand around his neck,"trust me señor,I know these things...now mack and enjoy,I gotchu."
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pullin the blunt from my lips as he mushed my cheeks and kissed me,his other hand roaming my thighs.
"Would you look at my lil therapist,how bout a lil physical therapy?" He spoke in my ear,nibbling on my earlobe as I tried to pull away from his grasp.
"Y-you know I'm...I'm not ready" his hand was playing with my waistband now,and I grabbed it almost harshly,throwing it off me.
He reclined the driver's seat and pulled me down onto him,
"But...what if I made you ready?it won't hurt" I jumped off him,wrapping my arms around my knees as I brought my feet up onto the seats.
"I'm sick,okay?and I don't want you to make me ready,don't try to change my mind,please...just don't." I spoke softly, afraid he couldn't even hear me.
His face hardened,and he turned away from me,"suite yourself,I'm not gonna force you."
He opened the door,and the urge to just grab him by the throat and crush him was unnerving,but I was left motionless when he threw the car keys at me,
"Mel?" The voice crippled me,and Kyrie's eyes were blood red and ridden by fear as we both stared at the person who had called my name,
Shii was boutta get real!