Lain

13

L A I N

"Hi, Lilyyy."

Lily came to me and jumped to get on my lap. I started caressing her soft white fur.

"I'm feeling lonesome.." Malungkot akong ngumiti.

As Lain, myself, I miss the things that I used to have. Tulad ng mga pusa ko. I love cats, and I want to be a fur parent someday. I prefer cats than children. Sadly, tragedy hits me and I'm not able to fulfill that dream anymore.

This cat, I didn't bought her. She's really Lily, that I already mentioned together with Tiger. My very own cat. Papa took her to a pet center before for someone to look after Lily. Lily got seriously injured in her head because of what an asshole did to her.

Now, my cat's fully healed. Pagka-kuha ko rito, tinalon niya agad ako at dinilaan. Para siyang aso. Lily still likes licking people whom she loves. Parang napupuno ang puso ko ngayong nasa akin na ulit siya.

Marami pa akong pusa sa bahay, but I can't go and see them. Bawal ko rin namang kunin. Ayaw ko ring hingin dahil alam kong hindi papayag si Papa. He loves cats as much as I do. Kapag nga nauubusan ng tubig mga pusa namin sa lalagyanan nila, pinapagalitan ako at sinasabing 'di ko nilalagyan tubigan nila. Hayy, I miss Papa.

"Nalulungkot ako, Lily.." Pakikipagkausap ko sa pusa. "'Di na ako kinakausap ni Chan. Buti na lang nakuha pa kita."

Speaking of the devil, minsan nakikita ko siyang kasama ang mga kaibigan niya sa canteen. He looks fine. Okay na ako roon, and besides, he has his own life to work on. I can't drag him anymore to my mess.

May mga pagkakataon na hinahanap ko ang presensya niya lalo na kapag mag-isa na lang ulit ako. His feminine voice, flirty jokes and his care that I had been longing these days. Siya na lang ang meron ako, nawala pa.

I sighed. Kasalanan ko rin naman.

Door knocks snapped me back to reality. Nilapag ko si Lily sa kama at pinuntahan ang pintuan para buksan iyon. I was taken aback when I saw Ely's mother.

"M-Mommy.." I stammered.

This is the first time she came to me. Tuwing nakakasabay ko silang kumain kasama si Mr. Filotimo ay sinusulyapan niya lang ako. She's not giving me any word since then. That's why I'm kind of surprised right now.

She's wearing a grayish dress and red lipstick. Her hair was tied up a messy bun with a gold clip on it. She looks so sophisticated and elegant with her look.

"Where you're heading?" Tanong ko na lang dahil wa akong maisip na sasabihin.

Her brows moves up, a glint of shock was visible in her face. It's like it's very unusual of her daughter to ask her whereabouts.

"I'm going to your grandmother's villa.." She gently answered. "I heard you brought a cat at home." She opened up.

Alanganin akong tumango. Iminuestra ko ang kamay sa kama ko. "I feel lonely and stressed out these days. Getting one seems a nice idea. I hope you won't stop me from taking care of it." After I said those, I went to the bed and carry Lily to my arms.

"No.. No, darling I won't." Mabilis niyang agap. She reached for my arm. She gave Lily a tender look and caresses Lily's head. "You can take care of it as long as you want. I'm just here to check up on you." There's a bit sadness flashed in her eyes when she return her eyes up on me.

Tipid akong ngumiti sa kaniya, "I'm doing good, Mommy. I will join you next time at Grandma's villa. Take care for me."

She broke a sincere smile, "I will, darling."

Monday came and I woke up on the wrong side of bed. I don't know what made me this peeved.The windy and rainy days has stopped at tirik na tirik ang araw na mas nakapagpadagdag ng init ng ulo ko.

"Go to your lockers and change. You'll be playing soccer for your P.E. today."

This day can't get any worst! P.E. sa monday?! I thought it's only for fridays!

Nakasimangot akong nagpalit. Nilingon ko ang tatlo na nagbibihis din. Sa isip-isip ko ay pinaghahambalos ko na ang P.E. professor namin ng upuan. Ilang beses ko nang ipinilig ang ulo but I still can't get rid of the violent thoughts.

"Yay! Salamat nag-P.E. din. Do you know how to play soccer, Ty?"

"Hindi, 'e."

"Tsh, well I'm certain Marga doesn't know how also." Ani Robbie, her eyes dropped on me. "Ikaw, Ely? Isn't exciting?" She squealed in glee.

Ngumuso ako. Sinintas ko ng mabuti ang rubber shoes. "I'm not fan of sports stuffs." Pag-amin ko.

"Gara n'yo naman! Come on, girls! Exercise na rin natin 'to. We should stay fit and healthy! Our figure must stay still!" Robbie cheered up.

Lihim akong napairap. I can be healthy without doing tedious activities and exercises. This game will only exhaust me.

Nakapila kaming pumunta sa soccer field. I wish I brought umbrella to cover up myself from the sunlight. As if naman na papayagan ako magdala ng payong!

I tried to concentrate listening on our P.E. professor explaining the rules and regulations of the game. Panay paypay ko sa sarili gamit ang kamay at punas ng pawis. Ramdam ko ang paglagkit ng katawan.

May mga gustong-gusto na maglaro, lalo na ang mga lalaki. Ang iba naman ay tinatamad pero walang magawa, tulad ko. Participating the game is recorded. Nag-attendance pa kami sa gitna ng initan. Kaya kahit gumawa ako ng dahilan na masakit ang tyan ko o puson ay hindi p'wede. I can't risk my grades. I mean, Ely's grades.

I aggressively exhaled. I kept fanning myself, until a shadow made me stop. Napatingala ako sa lalaking tinatakpan ang sikat ng araw na tumatama sa akin gamit ang isang manipis na libro.

Halo-halo ang emosyon ko nang makita kung sino ang tumatakip ng sikat ng araw para sa akin. Saglit akong nawala sa sarili.

"Here." Ibinaba niya ang libro at inabot sa akin. "Use it."

Pinatay ko lahat ng emosyong iyon at nakangiting tinanggap ang libro. Nasisilaw ko siyang tiningnan ulit. "Thanks for this. My head's not really fond of sunlights, migraine could easily attack me." Sabi ko at sinilong na ang sarili ko.

Tinanguan niya lang ako. My eyes automatically searched for Gerthy. Kapag nalaman niyang ang ginawa sa 'kin ng boyfriend niya, malamang ay magwawala 'yon.

She's more mentally ill than me. I abuse people in my head, while her? She's not even having second thoughts about hurting people physically. And I want to see that Gerthy again. The deranged lovesick girl who's mad jealous to her suitor's friend.

Sumilay ang ngisi sa aking labi. Before my world went black, I heard people screaming and a strong arms catch me to prevent my body from falling to the ground.