M A R G A
I keep staring at the blank sheet. Draw what makes you happy. I blinked.
Napunta ako sa isang kwarto na purong puti. Mag-isa lamang ako kasama ang desk, upuan at papel na nasa harapan ko.
Ikinurap kong muli ang mga mata, but nothing has changed. I roamed my eyes around the room. It's just real white blank, like my paper.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa papel. Is there any thing that makes me.. happy?
Yes, of course there is. I'm happy when I get higher grades than anyone else. I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction when I achieve being on top. Masaya ako tuwing nape-perfect ko ang exams, quizzes at activities. Masaya ako na may maipagmamalaki ako sa mga magulang ko.
Should I draw books here? Or my sheets with one hundred over hundred on it? Or myself, wearing tons of medals?
Ngumiti ako. Tama. Sinubukan kong magsimula sa pagguguhit, ngunit wala pala akong hawak na kahit na anong gamit pangguhit.
Where's my pencil? As far I could remember, I was holding it before I drifted to this world.
My smile faded.
I just realized, I was never happy working my ass off to be a perfect student. I just got used to it. I was pushed under pressure. Lahat ng tao ay kilala ako bilang ganito. Na sa puntong hindi na ako makaalis, hindi ko na mabago. Nakulong na ako.
Nakulong na ako sa lugar na 'to. I only live to satisfy people's expectations on me. To prove them I am worthy of looking up to. That I am the best. Pero ni isa, wala akong napatunayan sa sarili ko.
A hand on my shoulder woke me up, slightly shaking me. Napatingin ako sa katabi ko. It's Filotimo.
"Are you okay? You're dozing off. Kanina pa kita tinatawag." She said, looking worried.
Nakaramdam ako bigla ng pag-aalala. I checked the time on my wrist watch. Tiningnan ko rin ang mga kaklase ko na abala sa pagdo-drawing.
"Did I fell asleep?" Nababahalang tanong ko sa kaniya, I don't care if she's Filotimo or somebody else. Hindi dapat ako natutulog sa klase!
She slightly nodded, "I'm not sure, but your eyes are closed. Are you?"
Umiwas ako ng tingin. Fuck. I wasted ten minutes. May gagawin pa kami.
"Wala ka pang nasisimulan." Ani Ely na nakatingin sa papel ko. "Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo? I'll tell Sir Augustin." She stood up.
Naalarma ako. Mabilis kong hinawakan ang braso niya para pigilan. Pumiksi siya. Natigilan naman ako. Binitiwan ko rin siya agad.
Tumingin ako sa lapis, hinigpitan ang hawak. "I'm fine, you don't need to tell anyone." Malamig kong sambit.
Ayaw na ayaw ko ngang lumiban ng klase. Though I can cope up with the lessons with no doubts, still, attendance is a must. My father always say that to me. Kahit dati, may sakit ako, they won't allow me to attend classes in school, yes, but our hired homeschool teacher is there to teach me. Nanghihina na ang buo kong katawan, pero kailangan ko pa ring makinig.
BINABASA MO ANG
Lain
General FictionA senior high school student, committed suicide by drinking tons of pills inside the infirmary. Her name is Lain, whom killed herself but still alive, in someone else's body.
