Somethings Change

Mistakes?

It felt so unreal, it happened so quickly, without warning. She was crying and sobbing, now the only sound she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. It wasn't hesitant or even awkward. Stan was kissing her, and she was kissing back with the same longing he had. It didn't last long, it didn't get intense. If she was honest it was one of the most innocent and soft kisses she'd received from him.

"Why..." She whispered as he pulled away. She wasn't able to get out more than that one word.

"You know," Stan rested his head on her shoulder, holding her waist. "every time I said I loved you, I meant it. Even now I still do." His voice was just above a whisper too, despite them both knowing they didn't have to whisper, there was no one else around to hear the conversation.

Wendy hugged him back, pulling his hat off and stroking his hair. "But you and Kyle-"

"He doesn't want me like that."

"I'm sorry." She admittedly felt better knowing that. This made her feel bad at the same time because she could obviously see he was hurting.

He pulled away and she brought her hand to his cheek. Stan leaned in, putting his hand over hers. "You said before that if I loved someone else, we shouldn't be together. And I really believe you were right, because it's not fair to you."

"It's not fair to you either."

Kyle was exhausted. He looked over at the clock on his nightstand, '9:42'. It was still so early, but to him it felt like the middle of the night. After practice, Ike's team went pizza which Kyle had to accompany him. Despite how tired he was, he still had homework to finish. He sat at his desk and started going through his homework. Luckily for him, because his final period was independent study, he got everything done except the calculous homework. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't get past the last two questions.

He picked up his phone, swiping through his contacts until he reached Wendy's name. Clicking the little call button next to her name and bringing it to his ear he waited. After one ring, he was sent to voicemail. He felt too awkward to actually leave a message and just hung up. He opted to leave a text instead.

Kyle: Hey, just checking up.

He figured maybe she was still hanging out with Stan. He looked out his window over to Stan's and could definitely see Stan sitting on his bed. His back was turned to him and he looked like he was slumped over. Something in Kyle turned, something didn't seem right. He left his room, slipped on his coat and shoes and walked to Stan's house. The door was locked and there was no answer when he knocked. He remembered Stan mentioning that his mother was going out with her friends tonight.

He fiddled with the copy of Stan's key in his pocket. After a minute of deliberating he went to the side of the house and started to climb up to Stan's window, tapping lightly on it when he reached the top. Stan whipped around quickly and shuffled over his bed to open the window.

"Hey dude." Kyle climbed through, being careful not to get his shoes on Stan's bed.

"Hey." Was the only response he received. Stan definitely sounded defeated. When Kyle looked up, not with the proper light, he could see that Stan's eyes seemed red and tired.

"Woah man, are you okay?" Kyle's voice was laced with concern. Stan shrugged as Kyle took a seat in front of him on the bed. "What happened?"

"I just got a bit emotional talking to Wendy." He replied, his voice cracking a little.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Stan looked down but didn't say any or do anything else. It grew a little too silent and Kyle could see just how sad Stan actually was. He was never good with physical affection or comforting others. Still, he got on his knees and wrapped his arms around Stan's shoulders. Stan had been working on trying to stop crying, but Kyle hugging him, it broke the dam again. It wasn't long before he was sobbing loudly and clinging to his best friend. Kyle didn't know what else to do but to run his hand lightly through his hair and whisper reassurances to the boy. After a long while, Stan finally calmed down again, the crying seizing. Even so he held Kyle close and the redhead didn't dare pull away.

"I love you Kyle." Stan whispered and Kyle almost missed it. "But I'm fucked up."

"I love you too..." Kyle said very tentatively.

"But not the way I love you." Stan pulled back and looked at Kyle, eyebrows furrowed and sadness very evident on his face. Kyle's expression matched. "Earlier this morning, you were saying something when your alarm went off. What was it." Kyle swallowed but guessed he couldn't avoid the inevitable forever.

"I told you I couldn't be with you, I didn't say I didn't feel the same way you did." Kyle spoke quietly, softly, slowly. And Stan's face started to mix with hope and shock. "I love you so much Stan. But I can't date you, because I can't lose you." Kyle looked pained, like he might cry too.

"Really?"

"I'm sorry." It was quiet for another moment as Stan deliberated on what to say.

"I understand." He smiled with a heartbreaking expression. "I don't ever want to do anything to lose you."

Kyle hugged him again tightly, basically in his lap at this point. "Can I stay the night?"

"You never have to ask." The noirette responded, hugging him back.

After a while they had shifted from sitting to laying, still holding each other close. Kyle really was so exhausted. He'd forgotten all about his homework, already falling into unconsciousness. Stan's eyes were heavy but his head ran a hundred thoughts per minute. He could hear the faint snores coming from he body in his arms. Somehow this felt right to him, but also made him wish he could just disappear.