trigger warning: mild language that may be offensive or upsetting to some readers
Clint's POV
"Woah. It's like a satanic cereal cult in here," Nat observed.
Clint and Nat had arrived in the kitchen to find Tony, Steve, Marjorie, Bruce, and Loki all sorting through a massive pile of Lucky Charms that was threatening to spill off the table.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" he asked.
"Looking for more marshmallows," Marjorie said.
"Right," Nat said. "But why are you doing that?"
"We're testing the capacity of Loki's mouth in terms of marshmallows. Obviously," Tony said.
"But we've run out of marshmallows," Bruce added.
"Bucky went to get more," Steve informed.
"'Testing the capacity of Loki's mouth in terms of marshmallows?' What does that mean?" Clint asked.
"Here." Bruce handed him a clipboard with a chart on it:
hearts
4:23.83 minute 2,634 pieces
3:57.43 minute 2,701 pieces
clovers
3:50.67 minute 2,546 pieces
3:28.37 minute 2,615 pieces
stars
3:52.93 minute 2,666 pieces
3:43.21 minute 2,693 pieces
horseshoes
4:12.72 minute 2,238 pieces
4:01.27 minute 2,289 pieces
blue moons
3:20.68 minute 2,713 pieces
3:12.12 minute 2,745 pieces
unicorns
4:01.27 minute 2,418 pieces
3:55.09 minute 2,438 pieces
rainbows
3:27.49 minute 2,729 pieces
3:35.82 minute 2,748 pieces
red balloons
3:01.47 minute 2,981 pieces
2:59.36 minute 2,983 pieces
"This is so fucked up."
Nat peered over his shoulder. "You guys are really committed to this."
"Maybe it's fucked up, but this has to be done!" Marjorie banged her fist on the table, sending cereal flying. "Owww..." she said, cradling her hand.
Clint blinked. "Why?"
"Because of many reasons that your small brain can't even begin to comprehend," Loki said.
"I'm not even going to try." Clint collapsed in one of the empty chairs.
This was not even the weirdest thing he had done.
"You need a better method," Nat said, sitting down next to Clint. "You should have half of the people look for marshmallows, and the other half remove the undesired cereal."
"I should have thought of that," Marjorie grumbled.
"And acceptable idea," admitted Loki. "Alright! Girls will find the marshmallows and boys will sort out the cereal. That way, no one will fight about which job they get."
"Ohh, smart!" Marjorie said.
That left Steve, Tony, and Clint, to move the cereal into random bowls they acquired, and Marjorie, Nat, and Loki, to sort through the cereal for marshmallows. The room was silent except for the noise of cereal being poured, and the occasional shout of "I found one!"
After about fifteen minutes, Bucky swung open the door, carrying three boxes of the dreaded cereal.
"I found more cereal," he announced.
"Yay!" Marjorie said, running up to Bucky and haphazardly throwing her arms around his waist.
What the fuck? Hell, I do not understand.
Bucky was the most terrifying person he had ever met. Including Natasha.
Marjorie was either insane or suicidal.
Or both.
Clint decided not to care.
Bucky didn't look that annoyed anyway, keeping his neutral expression.
"I had to go to two different stores," Bucky said, while holding the boxes with one hand and untangling himself from Marjorie with the other. "The first one only had one box of cereal."
"Perfect timing. You can help sort out the rest of the marshmallows," said Nat, stealing the boxes from him.
Marjorie, and Bucky, followed Nat to the table. Nat ripped open the contents and spilled the cereal on the table.
"Now we have seven people. What team do you want to be on?" Majorie asked Bucky, who looked thrown.
"Umm," he hesitated.
"I'm he/him now," Loki announced. "Should I switch groups?"
"How do you tell?" Tony asked.
"I just do."
"I would like to switch teams too," Clint said.
"Do I have to participate?" Bucky asked.
Marjorie said "No," at the same time as Nat, who said "Yes," and was closely followed by Tony, who said "You do if I have to."
Bucky sighed. "Fine."
They eventually settled on Marjorie, Bucky, Clint, and Nat picking out marshmallows, and Loki, Bruce, Steve, and Tony removing cereal.
"I don't even like this cereal," Clint said idley.
"Same," Bucky muttered.
He didn't really like anything though.
"You're not supposed to like the cereal," Nat said. "The marshmallows are the only thing worth eating."
"But," Steve asked. "Then what's the point of the cereal part?"
"I think they actually sell just the marshmallows too," Marjorie informed. She was the one to go to for random, useless trivia, thought Clint wirely.
It was true, though. Marjorie was always saying random facts. Like how the higher altitude you have, the faster it is to boil water. By fractions of fractions of a second. Clint could have gone his whole life without knowing that.
"And the cereal part is for people who want to be healthy," added Tony.
Clint elbowed Nat, who looked like she was about to comment on how cute Steve and Tony were together. She had some theory that they where secretly dating now?
Clint hoped that meant she would stop trying to set Steve and Tony up...
Knowing Natasha, she would find something even more annoying to fixate on.
Uhhggggggggggggggggg, and Nat will make me participate.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo—
"I think," said Loki, interrupting Clint's mental feet dragging. "That this should be enough cereal." Loki held out a bowl of marshmallows.
"Yeah, probably," Bruce assessed.
"Hearts first!" Marjorie said cheerfully.
"I admit, the experiment intrigues me," Nat muttered to Clint. Clint banged his head on the table, accidentally getting cereal everywhere.
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