Shadows and Secrets (A MCU FanFic)

Chapter 23: Influencer

trigger warning: mild language that may be offensive or upsetting to some readers

trigger warning: mild sexual content that may be offensive or upsetting to some readers

Bucky's POV

"Influencing emotions?" he asked quietly.

"...Yeah," she said, fidgeting uncomfortably.

Bucky ignored the part of him that wanted to comfort her. "Have you ever done that to me?"

"No," Marjorie said.

"Never?" Bucky needed to know. He needed to verify that his feelings for her were his, so he had pulled her over to his room after he had followed Marjorie to visit Loki.

Every part of him was screaming that Marjorie wouldn't do that, that he could trust Marjorie with his life, but Bucky didn't know if he could trust his own feelings.

Marjorie swallowed nervously. "No. You would be able to tell anyway; it would go away as soon as you got out of my range, and I have to concentrate pretty hard."

Bucky stared hard into her eyes. She was telling the truth.

Of course she is! What is wrong with you?

Bucky looked at Marjorie, who looked a little... scared?

Oh, no.

Bucky felt horribly guilty. Even a little nauseous.

"I'm so sorry," Bucky apologized frantically.

"It's fine," Marjorie whispered.

"No," Bucky said. "I shouldn't have said that or implied that you would... I'm so sorry, Marjorie. That was inexcusable."

Bucky's throat was dry and he felt like such a jerk. Marjorie was obviously hurting right now, and he had noticed how she was more tired today; she had probably had nightmares.

And she was probably remembering her trauma from her abusive childhood; especially because he was being a complete asshole about the main reason her parents were so horrible.

Bucky wished Marjorie's mom was still alive, if only so he could hunt her down and kill her himself.

But that was selfish.

Right now, he needed to be here for Marjorie. And right now, he was doing the complete opposite.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," Bucky said, trying to read her face.

He wasn't sure what she was thinking, if the damage he had caused was reversible.

"You didn't scare me," Marjorie said, her voice still unusually quiet. (She was normally quiet and shy, but not with him.)

Bucky smiled faintly. "You're lying, Marjorie," he said softly.

"I know that," she said sarcastically, more like herself. Marjorie took a deep breath. "I was mostly surprised. You've never been mad at me before."

"I wasn't mad, I promise. I was... I don't know. I was being stupid."

Bucky wondered if he sounded as sad as he felt. If his sadness was raindrops, he would have drowned by now.

Maybe being dead would be better than constantly hurting the people he loved.

Marjorie sighed. She sounded so drained. "You are stupid. But I forgive you."