to greater things beyond the unknown||RK96000||

Chapter 8: A Fact as Simple as Gravity

ao3 - RK96000

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Shouyou is still staring at his phone when it rings for the second time- the idea of talking to his mother when they haven't exchanged anything beyond sentences in weeks sends a jolt of panic down his spine, even as he reminds himself where he is, pressing into Oikawa's side as much as he can to try and calm the rising panic.

There was absolutely no way she was calling because she'd seen his texts about today's volleyball match, because she'd wanted to know if he'd done well- but even so, was it so bad to hope?

"My mother called," Shouyou blurts out, and a part of him hates how Oikawa's smile drops, but a greater part of him is too relieved as Oikawa wraps a steadying arm around his shoulder.

Oikawa peers at him, looking uncertain and worried. "You haven't ever really mentioned her- do you know what she wants?"

Shouyou winces and shrugs, knowing that given how he took every opportunity to blabber on about everyone and everything he loved, the fact that he had never actually mentioned his mother to Oikawa was probably not the best sign.

"She... works a lot so she usually isn't home," Shouyou explains, even as Yamaguchi and Tsukishima arrive and they both look a little confused at the topic. "We haven't actually talked in weeks."

Oikawa blinks, gives him a strange look. "What?"

"I'm not a bad son or anything!" He rushes, edging towards the gym doors as Oikawa lets his arm fall away without a single complaint, still staring even as his heart sinks at that- Oikawa never passes up the chance for physical affection, pouts whenever they separate. "I probably like volleyball a bit too much and don't study enough but that's it!"

Yamaguchi coughs, nudges Shouyou's shoulder with an apologetic smile. "I... don't think that's what he's worried about."

Tsukishima is only staring at Shouyou. The same stare he'd given Shouyou when he'd heard his parents were divorced- something not quite pity but not understanding either.

"Shou-chan," Oikawa starts, slow and careful even as he grips Shouyou's hand in his own, as if he worries that if he speaks too brashly, Shouyou would crumble into pieces beneath his touch. "Are you alone most days at home?"

"I usually go home to nothing but silence!" Shouyou chirps, with a little too much enthusiasm for it to be genuine, and frowns when neither his friends nor his boyfriend laugh.

Sure, it was lonely- to go from being surrounded by friends and teammates and a boyfriend at school and then go home to the silence- but that was just how it was. There was no point in being sad about something that would never change, no point in weeping over something as simple as gravity itself.

Shouyou is short, his mother doesn't love him, and Shouyou loves volleyball twice as hard and twice as fiercely in spite of the two previous facts.

"I'm going to take this call?"

Before Oikawa can say anything, Shouyou slips through the gym doors, away from the strange sympathy that burns at his skin.

Oikawa lets him leave, but when Shouyou glances back, his heart sinks as he only sees Oikawa's back as he walks away.

Shouyou doesn't even know what he did to mess things up- but then again, he supposes that was the same case with his mother.

He was never enough, not for anyone.

With a heavy sigh, the gym doors slam shut behind him and Shouyou walks a few steps into the hallway before finally calling his mother back, pressing the button before he can overthink himself to death.